Consequences of Losing a Democrat
by Lexi Lupin
Summary: Josh is having issues with PTSD even years after the shooting, though he doesnt know right away. Stanley returns for a while! (5th season, does not include later 5thall 6th season events) Chapter 9! COMPLETE FINALLY!
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Okay, this is my first West Wing fic, heehee, how exciting is that?  
  
There're probably some spoilers here mainly from ITSOTG, Noel, and the most recent 2 episodes (constituency of one, and whatever the other is.)  
  
Enjoy!  
  
Chapter 1  
  
"Donna!"  
  
Josh Lyman yelled for his assistant while busy typing on his computer. A few seconds later she appeared in the doorway with her arms full of folders and stacks of papers.  
  
"Don't yell." Josh glared at her briefly.  
  
"I'm going out for a bit, gonna grab something to eat." Donna studied Josh's face carefully after he said this. Josh never used to go out to eat for lunch. He never had the time, he always had her fetching food for him. But since his major screw up in the past few weeks, with his work load noticeably lightened by Leo, he had taken to spending a bit of time out of the office, a hour or so a day. Where he went, Donna had no idea, she doubted he was actually eating lunch by himself in some nice restaurant. She didn't dare ask though. Josh had become so irritable, she didn't even want to think of the consequences if he thought she was prying into his personal life.  
  
"Alright," she agreed. "It's," she checked her watch, "12:15. Know when you'll be back?"  
  
He shrugged. "Whatever, I'm wingin' it." He flashed her one of his charming smiles, but she thought it lacked something it usually had. She raised an eyebrow at him inquiringly. "Okay, okay, I should probably be back by 2."  
  
Donna nodded and smiled at him. He gave her a genuine smile in return and headed out. Josh was very grateful for Donna. It was possible that it was her that kept him sane for the last few weeks, finding off the wall tasks for him to do, trying to make his 'punishment' less obvious. Josh was very grateful.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Come in, Josh."  
  
Josh opened the door to the office and stepped somewhat hesitantly inside.  
  
"Hello, Stanley."  
  
Dr. Stanley Keyworth looked up from some papers he was reading and looked Josh over.  
  
"Well, Josh, you had me fly all the way out here from California, to meet you in secret. I had to 'rent' an office for the day. Actually it's just an extra office in a friend of mine's building, it was free. You have your own psychiatrist right here in D.C., this better be good." Josh knew Stanley was joking with him, but he didn't smile. Stanley became slightly concerned at this un-Josh behavior. "What's up?"  
  
Josh snorted. "You know perfectly well what's up."  
  
"Yes, I do," Stanley agreed. "I want you to tell me."  
  
Josh sighed. "I called you out here. There's just something I like about you, more so than my other psychiatrist. I mean, I like him and all, but this is complicated." He paused, trying to make sense of the same problem he had been trying to understand for days. "I don't know. This felt more important. I wanted you."  
  
Stanley nodded understandingly. "Leo, Donna, no one knows you're here today?" He asked. Josh shook his head. Stanley nodded for Josh to continue.  
  
"Well, you've heard, I'm sure. I screwed up, royally, a few weeks ago. I basically caused him to leave the party. Carrick." He said the name with an intense dislike. "It was my birthday." He finished lamely.  
  
"And what happened after that?" prompted Stanley. "Surely there is more to it than a temperamental senator?"  
  
Josh smiled slightly, in spite of himself. "Well basically, I can't do anything anymore. I mean," he corrected himself, "there's some things I have to do. But they let that woman deal with people on the hill mostly. That was a big part of my day. It has its advantages I suppose. I mean, I actually can go places for lunch, you know? And I can leave the office at a semi-reasonable hour at night a lot. But," he paused, fishing for the right words, "something's just not right."  
  
Stanley looked thoughtful as he listened to Josh describe his problem, lying down on a spare couch in the room. Stanley found this interesting as well. Josh, not being one to show weakness, preferred to sit, or pace while speaking, not lie down on the infamous shrink couch.  
  
"How have you been sleeping lately, Josh?"  
  
"Not that bad," Josh started to say, but he caught himself. Lying to Stanley wasn't going to get him anywhere. "Like crap." He said bluntly.  
  
"Any nightmares?" Stanley frowned. Josh hesitated in answering. "Josh.-..."  
  
"Yes. I have a few. On occasion." Stanley looked at him severely. "Alright, alright! I can't sleep without waking up in a cold sweat. If it's not Rosslyn, it's Joanie, and if it's not Joanie, it's."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Alright, this is going to sound weird. I actually have nightmares about losing my job. But it's not losing my job that scares me. It's losing the trust of those around me. In my dream, I see the anger in Leo's eyes, the disappointment in Donna's. The President won't even look at me so I don't see anything in his eyes. Leo told me once," Josh paused, composing himself slightly, "Leo told me that as long as he had a job, I had a job. But I can't help but wonder if he had something like this in mind when he said it. How far could I really go before he fired me? He can't afford a deputy who can't even do his own job."  
  
Stanley looked curiously at Josh, not sure whether Josh really believed that Leo would fire him. "Josh, Leo loves you. You know that. And yes, you might screw up from time to time. But the Leo McGarry I have known for many years wouldn't go back on a promise. You've messed up before, but every time you bounce right back and are your same old self after a few weeks."  
  
"Yeah," agreed Josh, "Leo's a good guy. It's just, some times I don't know how he puts up with me!" He smiled a bit, and Stanley took this as a good sign.  
  
"Josh, I wanted to ask you. Other than the fact that you're doing less work, is there anything else noticeably different about work right now?"  
  
Josh frowned. "Well.let's see.There's Will, though he's been there a while now. No one else really.Oh! There's Ryan."  
  
"Ryan?"  
  
"Yeah, Ryan. He's my intern. He's pretty bright, kinda nosy though. He keeps trying to go to meetings with me."  
  
"Isn't that generally what an intern would do?" asked Stanley, slightly amused.  
  
"Well, technically. But, I thought I had this deal with Leo about no interns. Well, as it turned out, I kind of had a deal with myself about no interns, so Leo gave me one anyway."  
  
"I see."  
  
"So, is there something wrong with me that you diagnosed in 2 minutes again?" Josh asked with a grin.  
  
Stanley didn't answer the question. Instead, he asked, "Have you had any episodes since the incident with Carrick?"  
  
Josh paled slightly, and Stanley knew the answer immediately.  
  
"It wasn't exactly an episode," Josh protested. "I controlled it."  
  
"What sparked it?"  
  
"I think.I think it was a door slamming. It was no big deal, really. I just heard it and started to feel panicky. I heard sirens." He paused, regaining his composure yet again. "I pushed the thoughts away and made Donna come in and talk to me for a while."  
  
"That's good, that's good," said Stanley, deep in thought.  
  
"So.?"  
  
"Josh, I think you're having rare, though not unheard of long term effects of the PTSD a few years back."  
  
To Stanley's alarm, Josh began to look panicked. "So you think I was having an episode while talking to Carrick? Did I lose control, like when I yelled in the Oval Office?"  
  
"Josh, I need you to calm down," Stanley said soothingly. "I'm not suggesting anything of the sort. What I think is that perhaps you were just being you when it happened. We all do stupid things, even those of us that work for the President. I think that it's what happened afterwards that caused it. You were stressed out. You couldn't sleep. You're normal routine, if there is such a thing in the White House, was being changed on you. You have this new intern following you around, you're work is changing. It's beginning to take it's toll on you mentally."  
  
"So what do you think I should do?"  
  
"Get some rest. Try to adjust as best you can to the things at work, you know that eventually everything will be back to normal."  
  
Josh nodded, contemplating this advice. "Are you going to be here a while?" he asked suddenly. "I mean, in this office."  
  
"Yeah, I'm just going to run through some paper work until I have to catch my plane back out to California. Why do you ask?"  
  
"I'm going to follow your advice. I'm taking a nap."  
  
"Don't you have to go back to work? It's," he checked his watch, "1:30."  
  
"Oh, no one cares, just so long as I show up eventually."  
  
And with that, Josh curled up on the couch and fell asleep. He found that he was extremely relaxed after talking to someone and he didn't want to let this opportunity go to waste.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ryan, have you seen Josh?"  
  
"Didn't he go out to lunch?"  
  
"Yeah," Donna replied, "about 2 hours ago. He said he'd be back by 2!"  
  
Ryan looked at the clock on the wall. "And it's 3. Maybe he got held up somewhere?"  
  
"Yeah, maybe. Well I'm going to run over to his apartment. I tried calling there, but maybe he fell asleep or something. He did look rather tired earlier, didn't he?"  
  
"Yeah, I suppose. What am I supposed to do in the meantime?"  
  
"Stay out of trouble!" Donna yelled as she got her coat. "Answer the phone, take messages, whatever!"  
  
Ryan shrugged and sat down at Donna's now unoccupied desk.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Josh?" Josh mumbled something incoherently. "Josh, it's 3:30. I have to head to the airport now. I don't think my friend will think much of me leaving my patients sleeping in his offices."  
  
Josh woke with a start. "Whoa, what time is it?" He looked at his watch. "Jeez, I should get goin' back, if nothing else Donna will start worrying where I went and send the SS after me or something."  
  
Josh and Stanley shook hands. "Well Josh, it was great seeing you again. Here's a prescription for some sleeping pills if you need them." He handed him a slip of paper.  
  
"Hey, thanks for everything Stanley. You really should move out here you know."  
  
"Yeah, and put up with this weather year round? Yeah, right." He gave Josh one final pat on the back and they headed out the door together. Josh got in his car and started heading back to the White House for more sitting around doing pointless busywork with Donna. Josh was about 10 blocks from the White House when a car backfired.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Donna! Where's.?"  
  
Leo stopped abruptly upon seeing who was in Donna's chair.  
  
"Alright, Ryan, is it, where's Donna, for starters?"  
  
"She, well, Mr. McGarry, she went to look for Josh."  
  
"To look for Josh?! Where the hell is Josh?"  
  
"Well, he left about 12:30 for lunch and kinda never came back.So at 3 she headed over to his apartment figuring he fell asleep there or something." he finished lamely.  
  
"Well when whichever gets back first, I want." Leo was cut off by the phone ringing. Ryan reached over and picked it up.  
  
"Josh Lyman."  
  
"Ryan? I need to talk to Donna." Ryan barely recognized Josh's voice.  
  
"She's not here," he said slowly, "she's looking for you."  
  
"Shit," Josh swore. "Alright, Ryan, I need you to come pick me up." Ryan raised his eyebrows at the receiver.  
  
"Yeah, okay," he said, "Where are you?"  
  
Ryan jotted a couple things on a loose sheet of paper and hung the phone up.  
  
"That was Josh, I assume?" Leo asked. Ryan nodded. "He needs you to come pick him up?" Leo swore. Alright, when you get back with him, I need him in my office, ASAP!" Ryan nodded again and left.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ryan found Josh sitting in his car with his head down on the steering wheel in a small café parking lot. Neither said anything as Josh climbed into the car and they proceeded back to the White House to face the wrath of Leo McGarry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
There was a gentle knock on Leo's office. "Come in," he barked. Josh walked slowly in the office. "Sit." Leo ordered. Josh sat.  
  
Leo sat in his own chair surveying Josh with hard eyes. "What are you doing, Josh?" he asked. You leave work for nearly 4 hours with no word to anyone as to where you're going? You have Donna out looking for you and I don't know if anyone's bothered to call her yet and tell her you're found. No one hears a word from you until you call because you need a ride back? Damn it, Josh, what the hell are you doing drinking."  
  
Josh cut him off, understanding what exactly had pissed Leo off so bad.  
  
"I wasn't drunk Leo. I'm not drunk."  
  
Leo stopped abruptly. "Then what the hell.?"  
  
"A car backfired." Leo gave him a blank look, not understanding.  
  
"Leo," began Josh thickly. "I called Stanley a few days ago. I had him fly out from California. That's where I was. I had him meet me privately."  
  
"Josh," Leo began.  
  
"On my way back," Josh kept going, on the verge of tears, "On the way back a car backfired. I couldn't help it. I couldn't control it. I had to pull over, I couldn't drive."  
  
Leo sat looking stunned for a few moments. "Oh god, Josh," he said, "Why didn't you.?" He couldn't find the words. "I didn't know you were having such a hard time."  
  
"Neither did I, really," sighed Josh. "I talked to Stanley. He thinks I'm having a sort of reaction just to the stress of things changing after Carrick. But it wasn't before that, I was just being stupid when talking to Carrick. But," Josh's voice grew thick, tears in his eyes, "I started having nightmares, I couldn't sleep. I'm sorry, Leo, I was sleeping. I was sleeping in Stanley's office."  
  
At that moment the door burst open and a bewildered Donna ran in to see a worried looking Leo and Josh with tears and pain evident in his eyes.  
  
"Josh," said Leo gently, "I think it's probably time you told us the whole story."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: So.what does everyone think? I'm sorry if there's a few technical errors, I can't remember everything from the show obviously.  
  
Anyways, there's chapter 1...Dont know quite when a chapter 2 will be around! Soon hopefully..depends when I can get time to myself to type!  
  
Cheers! 


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, I forgot the 'disclaimer' in chapter 1, so here it is: NOTHING IS MINE! IT ALL BELONGS TO OTHER CRAZY PEOPLE.  
  
A/N: Well, most reviewers seemed to really like chapter 1 which is totally cool! So, here I go with chapter 2 I suppose (by the way, I really have no idea how long this story is gonna be)  
  
BTW, I don't really know if anyone outside Leo, Donna, the President, etc knew about the PTSD so for the purposes of this story they don't. The only ones who know are Donna, Josh, Stanley, Leo, and the President.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
In the bustles of people moving through the airport, a barely audible cell phone went off.  
  
"This is Stanley Keyworth."  
  
"Stanley!"  
  
Stanley listened to the voice at the other end. "Leo?"  
  
"Yeah, it's me. You know that plane you're getting on to go to California?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Don't get on it."  
  
"Leo." Stanley tried to protest.  
  
"We need to talk." Leo insisted, and Stanley knew he wouldn't be going anywhere.  
  
"Is Josh okay?"  
  
"He'll be fine. Look, I need you to come up to the White House, this isn't really a conversation you should be having in the middle of a crowded airport."  
  
"Okay, I'll be there in a bit."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Margaret stuck her head into the White House Chief of Staff's office. "Leo, there's a Stanley Keyworth here to talk to you. He doesn't have an appointment."  
  
"I don't even want to hear about it, I can make my own appointments if I want. Send him in." Leo finished what he was doing and looked up as Stanley walked into the room, "Hey Stanley."  
  
Stanley nodded his head in acknowledgment. "What's up? I assume this has to do with Josh?"  
  
"Ah, can't get anything past you, can I?" Leo replied with a smirk. He then turned rather serious. "Yes. Of course it's about Josh. Apparently Josh leaves for his lunch break today at 12:30. Three comes and goes and he's nowhere to be seen or heard, so Donna goes out looking for him. 3:30 comes and he calls the office for Donna to come pick him up, except Donna's out looking for him so his intern-"  
  
"Ryan?" Stanley cut him off  
  
"Yes, his intern Ryan had to go and get Josh from a café parking lot several blocks away."  
  
Stanley frowned. "He had to have someone get him? Why?"  
  
"Well, I assumed he'd had a few too many drinks while at lunch, so I started berating him about it. So then I find out, no, he's not drunk, he started having Rosslyn flashbacks when a car backfired as he was driving home and he had to pull over. So, what's going on, Stanley?"  
  
"Where is he now?" asked Stanley.  
  
"I told Donna to take him home to get some rest. She's gonna stay with him for a while."  
  
"Leo," sighed Stanley, "you know I can't talk about what goes on when I'm with a patient. Not without the patient's permission."  
  
"Ah, we thought of that." Leo pulled out a written note from his desk drawer. He handed it to Stanley who read it outloud.  
  
"I hereby give my doctor, Stanley Keyworth, permission to discuss the events of my most recent appointment with Leo McGarry and the President if need be. Joshua Lyman." Stanley smiled slightly. "Well, I've got to say Leo, you think of just about everything."  
  
"Well, that's my job. Now, about Josh."  
  
"Well," replied Stanley, "what do you want me to say? He's having long term effects and reactions to being shot."  
  
"I thought these things usually happened just within a couple months after the event." Leo frowned.  
  
"They usually START within a couple months of the event," corrected Stanley. "After that it varies from person to person. A person might continue to have the PTSD symptoms for a few months after they start and they'll go away completely. Another might have symptoms that come and go for years."  
  
"Why now then, for Josh?" asked Leo.  
  
"Who can really say?" Stanley countered. "Each person is so different, different things set them off. The best thing I could come up with is, after the thing with Carrick, it was a combination of stress and change that did it."  
  
"What do you mean, 'change'?  
  
"Everyone began acting rather different to Josh afterwards, understandably. He screwed up. He was stressed out afterwards, he couldn't sleep. He told me he started having nightmares almost immediately after the whole mess so he stopped trying to sleep. Then you were changing things on him here, understandably again, and it stressed him out even more. He had less to do at work so he had more time to think about his mistakes. It would only have been a matter of time until he started showing signs of PTSD again. When he realized this, he gave me a call."  
  
"Well," murmured Leo, "Josh has more common sense than I gave him credit for at times." Leo sat in deep thought for several moments before speaking again. "So you think that if I restore all his former duties to him, he'll be okay?"  
  
"Well, it's difficult to say. Now that he's talked about it, that might be what he needed all along. Maybe you just need to reassure him that you do still trust him and that he will still have his job-,"  
  
"Was he worried about losing his job?" frowned Leo.  
  
"Well, he said the thought passed through his head on more than one occasion. But I think that Josh knows you wouldn't fire him really." Leo nodded for Stanley to continue. "Maybe if you talk to him it would be best to give him a few days to rest. Maybe a day or two out of town, have Donna go somewhere with him. But then of course it gets a lot more complicated. He'll have the press following his every move and they'll probably think you made him take time off."  
  
"Yes," Leo nodded, "That's what everyone would say. Unless.-," Leo broke off, thinking.  
  
"What?"  
  
"There could be a way to do this and actually get some public sympathy for Josh instead of ridicule."  
  
"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking.-,"  
  
"Have C.J. do a special briefing about it. With Josh's permission of course."  
  
"Don't you think that could be something of a bad idea? Instead of sympathy, you could end up with everyone insisting that the Deputy Chief of Staff has a mental condition and is unfit to work in the White House."  
  
"Well, that's always a possibility. Margaret!"  
  
Margaret was at the door in a few seconds. "Yeah?"  
  
"I need C.J. as soon as possible." Margaret disappeared and Leo turned back to Stanley. "It's true that it could be political suicide for Josh. I doubt it will be though. I survived being an alcoholic, Sam survived a call-girl, the President survived MS and we're all still in the game to some degree. Which is why we need to think this through before we make any decision either way. But for a very long time right after Rosslyn, everyone loved Josh and was sympathetic. I don't think the general public would find something like post-trauma to be a big issue for someone who was shot in the chest and barely.-," Leo was interrupted by a knock at the door. C.J. poked her head inside.  
  
"Leo? You wanted to see me?"  
  
"Yeah, come on in C.J. This is Dr. Stanley Keyworth, Stanley, this is C.J. Cregg. C.J. we need to talk about something very important and very private that few people know about at this point." C.J. raised her eyebrows in surprise and Leo kept going. "C.J., what do you think the public reaction would be upon finding out that someone who worked in the White House had a somewhat unpredictable mental illness?"  
  
"Leo," C.J. started, "What is this.?-,"  
  
"Answer the question, C.J."  
  
"Honestly," she sighed, "I think it would depend on the person. Who it was, what they did here, how closely to the President they worked, etcetera. What's going on, Leo?"  
  
"What do you think the public reaction would be if they found out a senior staffer in the White House had a unpredictable mental illness?"  
  
"Leo!"  
  
"Alright! C.J., you remember the first Christmas right after Rosslyn, Josh was acting kind of funny, he came in with his hand bandaged the one day, we were all really worried about him?"  
  
"Leo," C.J. moaned, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say."  
  
Leo held up his hand for her to be quiet. "I called in Stanley here. He's a very good psychiatrist, he lives out in California. Josh spent a day with him and found out he has post traumatic stress disorder."  
  
"You said it. I asked you not to say it.-," She paused a shook her head. "This is the one that causes you to have flashbacks about a life threatening experience, correct?"  
  
Leo nodded. "Josh began having difficulty again shortly after the mess with Carrick. Stanley thinks it might be a good idea to give him a few days, let him go somewhere with Donna or something, but.-,"  
  
"But you're afraid that everyone will think you're benching Josh completely and he doesn't have the trust of you or the President anymore," C.J. finished his sentence for him.  
  
"Exactly, which is one we're throwing around the idea of having you do a special briefing about it, explain things a little."  
  
"But you're also afraid that it will destroy Josh's political career if you tell the press. And you don't want to keep Josh here because then he'll have a meltdown completely. No matter which way it goes, it doesn't go well for Josh."  
  
"True," agreed Leo, "but I also think that when you remind everyone of Rosslyn you will get more support and sympathy for Josh than you will ridicule of him."  
  
C.J. looked uncertain. "Well what do you want me to do?"  
  
"Find some way to get a poll in the field."  
  
"Leo, you remember the last time we tried that? With the MS. We got results that were totally unhelpful to us from Joey's poll!"  
  
"Well obviously we're not going to get exact results for our situation without directly asking about Josh. But it will give us something of an idea. Just do it. If the results of the poll are good enough, we'll bring it up with Josh. If not, we won't bother him at all about it."  
  
C.J. nodded, though she still felt uneasy about the whole thing. "Anyone in particular you want to do the poll?"  
  
Leo shrugged. "Why not Joey? She's someone we can trust to keep what's really going on quiet. Just have her do something similar as she did with the MS, pick a state and go from there."  
  
"Yeah," muttered C.J. "I have to go," she said, looking at her watch. "I've got a meeting."  
  
"Go ahead," Leo waved her on. He then turned to Stanley, who hadn't said much of anything throughout the tense conversation. "Well Stanley, sorry to hold you up. I believe there is another plane heading out your way at about 7. If you leave now you can get there in plenty of time. Thanks for hanging around."  
  
"No problem. And, do keep me updated, would you?"  
  
"Of course." Leo opened the door and Stanley left. He then turned and went into the Oval Office.  
  
"Mr. President, do you have a moment?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Well there's my chapter two! What do you think on this one? Like I said at the end of last chapter, sorry if there are any technical errors in regards to the show. I obviously don't know everything about it. I don't know if Joey Lucas is still in the polling business for instance.? Anyways, it doesn't really matter, it's my story, I'll do what I want! Muahahahaha! :-P  
  
Cheers! 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Hmmm, what to say, what to say-.-I dunno, so on we go!  
  
Chapter 3  
  
The minute Josh got to his apartment he kicked off his shoes, curled up in bed and fell asleep. Donna figured it would be best for her to just hang around for a while so she began straightening up Josh's living room a bit (just because she knew it would annoy him). She turned on the TV and flipped around the channels, not really paying any attention to what was on. She gave up on the TV, deciding nothing was on and pulled a newspaper out from a stack on the table by the couch.  
  
About two hours went by until Josh woke up. He got up and poked his head out into the living room.  
  
"Donna? What are you still doing here?"  
  
"I'm fulfilling my duties as an assistant and watching out for the well- being of my boss," she said with a straight face.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one before. Where's my coffee then?" he asked.  
  
She shrugged. "How're you feeling?" she asked, changing the subject rather abruptly.  
  
"You know, I feel great," he proclaimed. "In fact, I feel so great that I'm going to do something nice for you and fulfill my boss-ly duties."  
  
"And that would be?"  
  
"We, you and me, are going to go and eat dinner at a nice restaurant. And by a nice restaurant, I am NOT talking about the McDonald's around the corner."  
  
"Well," she said appreciatively, "maybe they should send you home early more often."  
  
************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************** **~~~~  
  
"Leo? C.J. wants to see you for a minute."  
  
"Thanks, Margaret. Send her in." C.J. walked through the door and stood somewhat nervously in front of Leo's desk.  
  
"You talked to Joey?" asked Leo before C.J. could say anything.  
  
"Yeah," she agreed. "They had a poll they were going to do tonight anyway, so she's just going to tack a couple questions on to that one. The results should be in by noon tomorrow."  
  
"What questions did you tell her to use?"  
  
"Something along the lines of 'Do you feel that a government official with a psychological illness due to life-threatening injuries he received previously while in office should be in office?' and 'Do you think this person would be less able to perform his/her duties?'"  
  
"And she knows this is completely confidential?"  
  
"I didn't even tell her what it was about. Just her and Kenny will know the questions came from us though."  
  
Leo nodded. "Sounds good. Keep me posted on how the results are going."  
  
"Yes, sir," C.J. said and went back to her office.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"C.J. Cregg." C.J.'s assistant answered the phone. "Just a minute. C.J.! You've got a call, it's Joey Lucas."  
  
"Thanks, Carol," C.J. said before picking up the phone in her own office. "Hey Joey and/or Kenny, you got numbers for me?"  
  
C.J. listened carefully and wrote everything down as Kenny read it off. When he finished she looked down at the numbers in surprise. "That high?" she asked. "People really claim they'd be that supportive of someone with a mental illness in office?"  
  
Kenny translated for Joey as she explained. "The numbers are probably higher because you said 'due to life-threatening injuries received previously while the person was in office.' This makes people think this person is very devoted and they feel sympathetic. If this were a real situation though and you were polling on a real person the numbers would probably drop slightly though."  
  
"Hey thanks guys. I've got to go see Leo now."  
  
"Bye C.J. A pleasure as always."  
  
"Yeah, I'll bet," muttered C.J. after hanging up the phone. She then picked it up again and paged over to Margaret. "Hey Margaret, is Leo in now?"  
  
"He's in a meeting, he should be done in about 15 minutes. Why?"  
  
"When he's done, tell him I need to see him. Tell him I have numbers."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Sixty-seven percent!" Leo exclaimed. "Are you positive that's right?"  
  
C.J. shrugged. "That's what I said. They said it was all because of the 'life-threatening injuries' that boosted the numbers. "She said it would drop if the situation involved a real person who the public could identify with." She paused. "So you're going to take it to Josh? He'll be mad."  
  
"Yeah, I know," said Leo. "And he can still veto the idea of doing an announcement on the whole thing. I just wanted to see what the response might be if we did tell the public. Of course," he added, "with these numbers and the way things are for him right now, announcing it could actually be the more helpful thing to do to get support for Josh."  
  
"Or you could end up with a bunch of people on the hill who think he is mentally incapable of doing his job."  
  
"Yeah. Anyway he's coming in for a couple hours a little later to get a few things done. I'll talk to him then."  
  
*******~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*** ********  
  
"You did WHAT?"  
  
"Josh-," Leo began.  
  
"You put me in Joey Lucas's poll on the state government in California?"  
  
"Josh-,"  
  
"Leo!"  
  
The two sat and stared at each other for a few moments until Leo was sure he could start without being interrupted and yelled at. "We thought it would be a good idea to see some numbers."  
  
"Why? Can you imagine what would happen if this got leaked somehow and-," Josh stopped abruptly, realization sweeping across his face. "You want to leak it." It was a statement, not a question.  
  
"I didn't say that. I just thought it was the time to think about-,"  
  
"Leo, think about what that would do to this administration, on top of all the other shit we've pulled. Drugs, alcohol, call girls, the President with his MS-,"  
  
"And we're still here! Aren't we? We got reelected! Yes, Josh, on top of all that!" Leo's voice got calmer and he talked soothingly to Josh. "Josh, this could help you right now. If you take a few days of leave, the press is going to make it out like we're totally benching you. If you stay here you're condition could worsen. You need a few days to relax, go see your mother or something. You tell the press, you'll get ridiculed from Republicans on the Hill, sure, but you'll also get support from most everyone else."  
  
"You don't know that, Leo," Josh said. "Everyone might feel that I need out of here, you might just make things a lot worse."  
  
"It's your decision, Josh. I want what's best for you but I can't tell you what to do. You're right, I don't know exactly what everyone will think if you announce. However, I do know that if you don't it looks a lot worse than it already does."  
  
Josh sighed. "How long do I have to think about it?"  
  
Leo glanced at his watch. "You'll have a few hours. Talk it over with some people, Donna, C.J., see what they think. But if you want to do it, I need to know soon so we can work on writing the release. I want this thing done by tomorrow so you can get out of here for a while."  
  
"You sound like you already know what I'm going to decide," Josh smiled.  
  
"Start thinking."  
  
*************~~~~~~~~~~~~**************~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~***  
  
"Hey C.J., you got a minute?"  
  
C.J. looked up from the papers on her desk that she had been trying in vain to read over the last half hour. "Yeah, come on it."  
  
Josh entered her office and sat down on the couch. "You know what Leo wants me to do?" he asked quietly. C.J. just nodded. "What do you think about it?"  
  
She sighed. "Honestly, Josh, I don't know what to tell you. The way things are looking right now, it could be a politically strong thing to do. But how it affects you personally, that's another story."  
  
"So you think I'll get more support out of this than people who will think there's a crazy man working in close contact with the President?"  
  
"I suppose," she said. "There's always the chance that the whole thing backfires and we're screwed for the rest of the term, but I doubt it, as much as it pains me to admit it."  
  
Josh grinned at her. "Yeah, doesn't it suck when Leo's right?" She smiled back, relieved to see he was joking around about the whole thing.  
  
"Yeah, it does. So, did any of my words of wisdom help you come to a decision?"  
  
Josh thought about it for a minute. "You know, I think they did."  
  
"And?" she prompted.  
  
"I think I'm going to do it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************~~ ~~~~~***  
  
"Well, Leo, C.J. and I have come to a joint decision," Josh announced.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"It sucks when you're right."  
  
"You're going to go ahead with it then?" Leo asked. Josh nodded. "You're positive?"  
  
"Yeah. I've thought about it, talked about it. All around it just seems like the best way to go."  
  
"Okay. We need to work quickly then. C.J. I need you to tell the press that there will be a special briefing tomorrow at two. We need to get going on writing this. Get Toby when he has some spare time, come up with something -,"  
  
"Toby can't work on it," said Josh suddenly. "He doesn't know, I don't want to tell him about it and then say he has less then 24 hours to write a release about it. Toby would get all worked up and then he wouldn't be able to concentrate."  
  
"Well then it's just you two and Donna. Make it good," Leo warned, "or else we're going to need Toby anyway." Josh nodded and he and C.J. let themselves out of the office as Margaret came in to announce the arrival of Leo's appointment.  
  
C.J. leaned over to Josh. "You're going to tell Toby, right? I mean, if he hears that at the briefing for the first time-,"  
  
"Oh, of course," said Josh. "I'll hunt him down before we leave. It wouldn't be fair to him if he just heard it tomorrow for the first time."  
  
"Okay," agreed C.J. "Make sure you tell anyone who needs to know before tomorrow."  
  
"I will."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~** ******~~  
  
Toby looked up from his computer screen to see Josh leaning against the doorframe. "Yes?"  
  
"You got a minute?" Josh asked. "We need to talk."  
  
Toby looked at the clock over the door. "Can it wait a bit? I've got this thing with these people- -I don't know, must be important-,"  
  
"Yeah, that's fine. I'll catch up with you later."  
  
Josh left the office and wandered back down to C.J.'s office where she and Donna sat waiting for him expectantly.  
  
"Did you talk to him?" C.J. asked.  
  
"Nah, he's got this thing- - I'll track him down later, don't worry," Josh assured her.  
  
"Alright then. We need to get this thing going. I don't really know how to start, that's the hard part. We really need Toby or Will for this kind of stuff."  
  
Donna spoke up, "Maybe you want to just kind of ease into it a bit. You know, start out with one of those 'Sometimes when a person goes through a lot of- -,"  
  
"No," Josh interrupted, "don't do that. You should just say it. 'Three years ago Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman was told he had post traumatic stress disorder by a professional psychiatrist who's name we aren't-," he paused, "Are we releasing the name?"  
  
"Probably not," said C.J. "We'll have to talk to Leo though." She sat and thought for a minute or two. "So after that, what?"  
  
"You should explain it a little," Donna put it. "Talk about what causes it, what effects it has on the person, etcetera."  
  
"You'll have to talk about Rosslyn."  
  
Josh's statement was met with an uncomfortable silence, broken by C.J.  
  
"Yes, I suppose I will," she murmured. "That is, after all, the main problem here."  
  
"Then you could say how I'm taking a few days off work at the recommendation of my psychiatrist due to health reasons."  
  
"And close it out with 'Josh has the full support of the President and his staff through this difficult time.'"  
  
"See?" Josh said. "What do we need Toby for? We make a great speech writing team."  
  
"Josh, if I know the White House press corps like I think I do, they're going to ask me about other traumatizing experiences, apart from Rosslyn, that you've had," C.J. added hesitantly. "Do you want a 'no comment' on that one?"  
  
Josh looked uncertain. "Yeah, that's probably the best-, wait, no."  
  
"You don't want a 'no comment'?"  
  
"You can mention Joanie and the house," he said. "It's just, to pretend like that didn't happen-, You know, Stanley thinks that that's really when the whole thing started, with the fire. Maybe that'd be best."  
  
"Yeah. What about the inevitable 'Why is this just now being announced?' question?" Josh looked stumped. "They're going to go right back to how we're trying to defraud the public if we can't answer that with a legitimate reason."  
  
"What about-," began Donna.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What if you said," she said hesitantly, "that we felt it was understandable considering the circumstances three years ago, and as long as it was controlled and Josh received help for it, there was little need to concern the public. And now, that he's had another episode, shall we say, we felt it would be wrong not to tell." Josh and C.J. looked at Donna with wonder.  
  
"Alright, Donna," Josh said, "You're fired, you're now Toby's Deputy Communications Director."  
  
"No chance," argued C.J., "There'd be no one to look after you."  
  
"Hey, I resent that," Josh replied, "I'm a grown man! I can handle my own things!"  
  
"Yeah, Josh, yeah."  
  
***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*****************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~  
  
"Hey Ginger. Is he back yet?"  
  
"No, sorry Josh," she said, "the meeting ran over. He should be back in an hour or so if you want to hang around."  
  
Josh sighed. "No, I really can't. Donna's going to come by to yell at me to go home in about-,"  
  
"Josh!"  
  
"Speak of the devil," muttered Josh.  
  
"You said you were heading home half an hour ago, what's going on?"  
  
"Toby's meeting ran over, I still need to talk to him," Josh said pointedly.  
  
"Do you want me to leave a message for him?" Ginger asked.  
  
"No," Josh said dejectedly, "just tell him, if he ever gets back, I need to talk to him as soon as possible tomorrow morning. Before two," he added.  
  
"Will do!" Ginger said entirely too cheerfully in Josh's opinion.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
~~~~~~~~~**********~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~ ~*******  
  
"You wanted to see me, Josh?"  
  
Toby stepped into Josh's office the next day at noon.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, I did."  
  
"Sorry about last night," Toby added. "I didn't expect that meeting to go so late."  
  
"It's fine. Look, Toby, here's the thing-," He was interrupted by an urgent knock at the door. Donna walked in.  
  
"I'm so sorry," she said pleadingly to Josh who put his head in his hands, "Toby, Ginger says you need to get back over there, there's some sort of problem with Congressman Koerner, she says it's urgent."  
  
"Christ," muttered Toby. "Sorry, Josh, I really need to deal with this. Can this conversation wait just a little longer?"  
  
"Yeah," sighed Josh. "You're going to watch C.J.'s briefing, right? Toby nodded. "I'll talk to you before then."  
  
"Okay. Do you know what that's about, anyway? Leo is maintaining an obstinate silence about the whole thing, I really don't know what the deal is." Josh didn't respond. "Anyway, I'm off." Toby left the room hurriedly. Once he was gone Donna shut the door.  
  
"I'm sorry!" she said. "I know you want to tell him before the briefing. Ginger said it was important though!"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Josh sighed, "it's not your fault."  
  
**********~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *******  
  
Josh found he couldn't concentrate. He watched the clock click slowly by, waiting for Toby to return from his emergency call. He'd gone over the speech with C.J. and Leo, everything was okay. All they had left to do was wait. Donna brought him lunch but he found he had very little appetite so they just sat there in silence for a while.  
  
Finally, at only ten to two, Toby came back to Josh's office looking annoyed and angry, muttering about lazy stubborn congress people who could do nothing on their own. Donna gave Josh an encouraging pat on the back and left, closing the door behind her.  
  
"I swear," said Toby, "some of these people in Congress need to shot and buried in-," He closed his eyes and calmed himself. "What is it, Josh?"  
  
Josh was now on the verge of being terrified, with Toby in this kind of mood. He began hesitantly. "Well, the thing is, Toby, you see-,"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Look, Toby. The thing is, well, three years ago this December I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder." Josh flinched slightly, waiting for the big blow. It didn't come, yet.  
  
"Excuse me?" Toby asked dangerously.  
  
"PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder," said Josh. "Look, Toby-,"  
  
"Post traumatic- -whatever, Josh! Am I the ONLY person in this administration who isn't hiding some potentially career-ending secret?"  
  
"Toby-,"  
  
"Three years! You found out you had this three years ago? So why now? Why not tell me when it happened, or after we leave here? Damn, Josh, do you know how bad this could look?"  
  
"Toby-,"  
  
Toby held up his hand for silence. "Alright," he said more quietly. "Alright. I need to think. I'm going to go and sit in on C.J.'s briefing, and then I need time to think."  
  
"Look, Toby, the briefing's about-,"  
  
"Just give me some time, Josh. I'll talk to you later, I need some time to myself." Toby left the office, slamming the door behind him. Josh sat there in stunned silence.  
  
"Well that didn't go quite as well as was hoped for," he said aloud to no one. "I guess I couldn't have expected him to not be angry, but-," His musings were interrupted by a quiet knock at his door. "Come in," he called.  
  
Ryan the intern stuck his head into the office. "You okay?" he asked. "Toby seemed really ticked and-,"  
  
"I'm fine!" Josh cut him off. "I'm fine. Aren't you going to go see the 'mystery briefing' with everyone else?" he asked.  
  
"I thought I might watch it here," Ryan said. "That is of course, unless you want me to get out."  
  
Josh watched him carefully for a minute. Ryan started to leave. "Wait," he called, "You can stay. Turn the TV on."  
  
Ryan reached up to the television on the wall and flipped it on. A part of Josh wanted to go hide in a corner about now, the other was curious as to how C.J. would handle this. They waited a few minutes without saying anything. Then C.J. came on the TV, ready to begin.  
  
"Before I get started," C.J. said, "I'd ask that you refrain from any questions until I am done. I will then be happy to answer them to the best of my ability." The press murmured its assent and C.J. started right into it:  
  
"Three years ago, December the 17th, Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman met with a psychiatrist on the orders of Chief of Staff Leo McGarry. The psychiatrist, whose name we are not releasing, determined that Josh had developed an illness known as post traumatic stress disorder."  
  
There was dead silence for several seconds while C.J. let this statement sink in. Ryan turned to look at Josh, who was sitting with his head resting on the back of his chair, eyes closed. Ryan noticed he was making a fist with his left hand which was resting on the desk. C.J. continued.  
  
*********~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~**********~~ ~~~~~~~~  
  
"As most of you remember very well, about four months prior to this date, most of the Presidents senior staff was victim to gun-fire in Rosslyn, Virginia. Josh was shot in the chest and spent three months recuperating at the hospital and at his home. Post traumatic stress disorder usually occurs within several months of a life-threatening incident. The person may begin to feel panicked and experience flashbacks of the incident. A flashback is like a memory except you relive the experience while remembering it. After Josh talked to the psychiatrist the symptoms began to subside and he fully recovered. We chose not to disclose the incident because we felt that the situation was understandable. As long as he received help and recovered we felt there was little need to concern the public. No one expected Josh to completely recover from Rosslyn just like that. However, in the last few weeks, Josh began to experience flashbacks again. He met with his psychiatrist again who said that it was due to stress and change of normal patterns after the problems Josh had with Senator Carrick. It was decided that the public had a right to know now that the problems had occurred again. Josh will be taking the next few days off work at the suggestion of his psychiatrist due to health issues. He has the full support of the President and of this administration during-,"  
  
"Toby?" Toby turned from where he was leaning against the wall, listening to C.J., to come face to face with Leo. Toby didn't respond. "You okay?"  
  
"I-," Toby struggled for words, "I just talked to Josh."  
  
Leo nodded understandingly. "He wanted to tell you last night, you know. He didn't want you to find out just before the briefing."  
  
Toby just shrugged. "What the hell's going on, Leo? Why are we announcing this now?"  
  
"Josh didn't tell you?"  
  
"Well," began Toby uncomfortably, "Josh didn't say much of anything."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"He didn't really get anything out after the first sentence. I kind of started berating him about it, he didn't get to say a whole lot."  
  
'Toby," sighed Leo, "he's going through a tough time. He doesn't need that from us, he's already going to have the Republicans on the Hill going at him."  
  
"I know," said Toby, "It's just, you know me. I'm not much one for surprises. I suppose I should go apologize?"  
  
"Yeah," agreed Leo.  
  
"Now?" Toby tried to stall.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Yeah," Toby said. He turned and strode back the way he came. He was outside Josh's office when he heard a muffled thud from behind the closed door. He opened the door and found Josh sitting at his desk, shaking out his hand which he had seemingly slammed down on the desk. "Josh?"  
  
Josh and his intern, whose name Toby couldn't think of off the top of his head, looked up at him.  
  
"I should probably go?" the intern said.  
  
"Yeah. Thanks Ryan," Josh said. He looked, somewhat fearfully it seemed, up at Toby.  
  
"You and C.J. wrote that briefing?" Toby asked.  
  
"Yeah," mumbled Josh. "And Donna."  
  
"It's good."  
  
"Tell that to Donna. She came up with all the good parts."  
  
"Josh," Toby started, "I'm sorry. I had no right to go off at you like I did."  
  
"No," Josh sighed, "You're right. I should have told you three years ago. It's not fair to you."  
  
"Three years ago December?" Toby asked. Josh nodded. "Isn't that around the time you came in with your hand bandaged up and bleeding?"  
  
"I-, yeah, it is. I-," Josh paused, slightly amazed at Toby's memory. "Well, I punched out a window. In my apartment."  
  
Toby nodded, as pieces of a puzzle were filling in, in his mind. He walked around the desk to stand right by Josh. "Josh, I know this is going to be a rough time for you. I just-," he searched for the right words, "I want you to know that we'll all be here for you. No matter what. Got it?"  
  
"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Toby."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***************~~~~~~~~~~~~~************ *~~~~~~~  
  
A/N: Well, that was a pretty long chapter for me. By the way, I know it kinda sucks. I had the hardest time with the first few section, they're a little forced. It got kinda easier after that but it's too sappy and sentimental (heeheehee)  
  
Anyway, next chapter should be around sometime soon (at least we can hope!)  
  
Cheers!  
  
*~Lexi Lupin~*  
  
"No, really, I am dumb. Most of the time I'm just playing smart." ~Sam Seaborn 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: OKAY, after asking around for a bit about Sam, I've come to the conclusion that no one really knows what happened to him so I can kinda do what I want with his character...I'm not really going into details but I suppose you can assume that he is somehow involved with a firm of sorts in California  
  
Chapter 4  
  
"You know, Donna. I'm an outdoorsman."  
  
"Shut up, Josh. We're not even outside."  
  
"We're not exactly inside either."  
  
"Look around you, Joshua! Walls, floor, ceiling. How is that not inside?"  
  
"We're thousands of feet high, going hundreds of miles an hour. I don't know, something just doesn't seem very inside-ish there."  
  
Donna rolled her eyes. They'd been in the air for a full 10 minutes and already Josh was off on one of those little tirades of his. She knew the other wouldn't be far behind- -  
  
"I can't believe you couldn't find a plane that didn't switch in Atlanta."  
  
There it was.  
  
"Josh, you can't go anywhere in the world without switching in Atlanta."  
  
"Really? So you're telling me I can fly from Seattle to LA and still go through Atlanta?" Josh just loved annoying his assistant like this.  
  
"Okay, let me rephrase that. You can't go anywhere east of the Mississippi, fly south while still staying east of the Mississippi and not switch in Atlanta. Unless of course you're starting in Florida, in which case you'll have to be flying north and you could probably go anywhere and still- -,"  
  
"Alright, alright, I surrender. No more complaints about Atlanta."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Donna pulled out a book and began to read it.  
  
"You know, it's not just Atlanta. Switching anywhere is annoying and a hassle."  
  
"You said no more Atlanta complaints!"  
  
"I'm not complaining about it! I'm defending it!" Donna shook her head in defeat.  
  
"You know what. I'm going to spend the entire few days we are in Florida with your mother looking for a direct flight from Palm Beach to D.C. Okay? It's not my fault I only had a few hours to look for a flight!"  
  
"How long does it really take?"  
  
"I swear," Donna muttered, "next time we're taking Air Force One."  
  
"Ooh!" Josh exclaimed. "Could we?"  
  
"Yeah, Josh, because I'm sure the President and the Secret Service won't mind when the staff borrow his personal jet for vacationing to see their mothers."  
  
"It might be worth a shot."  
  
"I'll let you handle that then. I'm an assistant, I don't think I'll be getting such grand personal favors from the President any time soon. Now I'm going to try to sleep until we get to Atlanta, so please find some silent way to keep your self amused for the next couple hours. Please?"  
  
"Yeah, okay." Josh pulled out a newspaper from the back of the seat in front of him. He skimmed uninterestedly through the pages, ignoring the story on the front about himself. He sighed and folded the paper up as quietly as he could, not realizing that, 1) Donna was still awake, and 2) he was still being loud as hell, despite his efforts. Donna smiled to herself as Josh struggled with getting the paper to fold back up right, gave up and just stuffed it back where it came from.  
  
"Excuse me, would either of you like anything to drink?" The stewardess was making the rounds.  
  
"Coffee, please," Donna spoke up. Josh jumped slightly as he still thought she was asleep. She smirked at him, amused that she could startle him so easily.  
  
"And you, sir?"  
  
"Oh, a uh- a ginger ale, please," Josh said and turned to Donna. "I thought you were going to sleep until we got to Atlanta."  
  
"Ah, I never could sleep very easily on airplanes."  
  
"I never could stay awake very well on airplanes," Josh mused.  
  
"You're wide awake now," Donna pointed out.  
  
"Oh, don't worry. I'll be out of it by Raleigh." Donna found that she didn't have to wait nearly that long. In just a few minutes Josh began to doze, before their drinks even came.  
  
Donna read the rest of the trip. Josh woke with a start when they were about 15 minutes from landing in Atlanta.  
  
"What is it?" asked Donna, slightly concerned at Josh's behavior.  
  
"It's nothing," Josh faltered, "it's- -the music woke me up. It startled me."  
  
"What music, Josh?"  
  
"The- -the music. It was playing, it woke me up," Josh paled slightly. "There's no music, is there?"  
  
"No, Josh," Donna said quietly. "I think you were dreaming."  
  
"Yeah." They sat in silence as the plane began to make its descent.  
  
"It was Ave Maria," Josh muttered as they exited the plane.  
  
"What?" Donna was pulled from her own little world of thoughts.  
  
"The music. It was Ave Maria. Joanie used to play it all the time."  
  
"It was just a dream, Josh. Don't worry about it."  
  
"But it's not just a dream, Donna. It's more than a dream. Even when I'm awake, sometimes, I'll hear it in the back of my mind."  
  
Donna didn't really know what to say. She pulled on Josh's arm gently. "Come on," she said quietly, "it would totally ruin the plane switching experience if we missed the plane and had to drive to Palm Beach."  
  
Josh smiled faintly. "Yeah, I suppose. Let's go."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You see the news, Sam?" Sam Seaborn looked up as he was addressed.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The news."  
  
"You're going to have to be just a little more specific there, Jim," Sam said, annoyed.  
  
"Seems the White House has been trying to cover up another one of them medical scandals. No wonder you got out of there."  
  
"What?" Sam asked quickly.  
  
"I said, "it's no wonder you got - -,"  
  
"No, before that."  
  
"Oh, you didn't hear? Their Press Secretary announced yesterday that one of the senior staffers had some mental illness. Post trauma, something or other. Been hiding it for three years or something like that. They tried to pass it off that the public didn't need to know and it was okay that some loony was working with the President since he got shot earlier. I mean, come on. Just because the circumstances are out of the ordinary like that, the guy can be working in the White House?"  
  
"It's Josh?" Sam asked.  
  
"That Lyman fellow? Yeah, the one who got plugged in the chest at Rosslyn. I totally marveled that he didn't- -,"  
  
"Excuse me," Sam said distractedly, and not wanting to hear the rest of the rant. He went hurriedly down to his office and dug through his desk until he found an old address book. He was pretty sure he had the number here somewhere- -  
  
"Got it!" He picked the phone receiver up and dialed the number.  
  
"Leo McGarry's office." A voice that Sam hadn't heard in so long.  
  
"Margaret?" The person at the other end paused.  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"It's me. Sam."  
  
"Sam- - Seaborn?"  
  
"How many Sams do you know who would be stupid enough to say 'it's me,' when someone asked who it is?" Margaret laughed. "How are you guys?"  
  
"Oh, we're doing okay. I suppose you heard the news?"  
  
"Yeah, I did. How's he doing?"  
  
"Well," Margaret said, "he's not here. He took a few days off, I think he went to see his mother in Florida. Donna went to keep an eye on him."  
  
"I see. Well is Leo around?"  
  
"Yeah, want me to get him?"  
  
"Thanks, Margaret." She put the phone on hold and knocked on Leo's office door.  
  
"Come in," he called.  
  
"Leo," she said, "You've got a call."  
  
"From who?" he asked distractedly, as he was concentrating on his work at his desk.  
  
"Sam." He looked up in surprise.  
  
"Seaborn?" Margaret nodded. "What does he want?"  
  
She shrugged. "I think he wants to know about Josh. Seems like he just found out with the rest of us."  
  
Leo winced. "Yeah, I bet Josh didn't even think of calling him when C.J. told him to tell everyone who should know before the announcement. Thanks, Margaret, I'll take it from here." He reached over and picked up the telephone. "Sam!"  
  
"Leo! How are things?"  
  
"And by 'how are things' I assume you mean - -,"  
  
"How's Josh?"  
  
"Yeah, I figured. Well, as you can probably imagine, he's going through a tough patch here. You should have called yesterday, he probably would have enjoyed talking to you for a while."  
  
"Well, I just found out this morning actually."  
  
"How the hell could you have just found that out this morning?" asked a slightly amused Leo.  
  
"Well, I didn't work yesterday. Therefore it was my 'do nothing day.' Which seemingly involved- -not picking up a newspaper or watching news of any kind- -yeah." Leo laughed. "Anyway, how long is he going to be away?"  
  
"He's figuring on staying in Florida about three days, I think. He really didn't specify a set amount of time, I just told him to relax and take some time to work out his issues. After that, who knows? He might come right back, he might not. We'll have Angela to cover for him as long as he needs."  
  
"Well look, Leo, I've got a couple weeks vacation starting in a couple days. Do you think he might like if I came up for a bit, just sort of hung out, you know?"  
  
"You don't have any other plans for your vacation?"  
  
"Nah, I usually just sit around and do nothing- - kind of like yesterday."  
  
"Well yeah, Sam, I think that'd be a good idea, if you're up for it. You should come by the West Wing. Everyone would love to see you and yell at you for leaving us."  
  
"Gee," Sam said dryly, "thanks."  
  
"Anytime there, son. Well I've got a meeting here in a few. Call me when you get here in a few days, okay?"  
  
"Sure. Oh, and Leo? Don't tell the others I'm coming up. It'll be a fun surprise." Leo laughed.  
  
"See ya, kid."  
  
They both hung up their respective phones. Sam walked out of his office and back down the hall from where he came from.  
  
"Hey, Jim. I'm going to be taking about two vacation weeks here in a few days." Jim was totally thrown off his guard.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I've got to go see a sick friend," Sam called over his shoulder as he continued walking.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Josh Lyman!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Okay, okay... I know I haven't updated this in MONTHS but a friend has been badgering me about it (yes, I mean you, Triscuit girl)...so the story continues! I know it's not a long chapter by any means, but I wanted to get it updated quickly...I'll go to work on the next!  
  
Cheers! *~Lexi Lupin~* 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Still all belongs to me...I mean, uh, those NBC or whoever people who created West Wing...yeah, that's it...  
  
A/N: Okay, not a lot to say...just uploaded chapter 4, no responses to reply to yet or anything... Other A/N: I really don't think anyone cares TOO much about what happened at Josh's moms house in Florida...at any rate, I don't so we're just kinda skipping over that part...believe me, nothing interesting happened.  
  
*************************************~************************************** ***********  
  
"I'm most definitely NOT an outdoorsman."  
  
"Josh!"  
  
"At least not in Florida."  
  
"Josh- -," Donna pleaded.  
  
"I'm burnt, Donna! Look at me! Do you see my sunburn?"  
  
"Yes, Josh, I see your sunburn! Would you shut up now?"  
  
"Well hey, I can't complain about switching in Atlanta this time, what else do I have to do?"  
  
"Josh, who found you this straight, Palm Beach to D.C. flight, no stops, no switches in Atlanta?"  
  
"The Easter Bunny?"  
  
"No, me! So, for the sake of your lovely assistant who follows you around just to listen to you complain about her, just this once, shut up!"  
  
"Hey, I let you come to Florida with me. You've been wanting a vacation, you got your all expense paid vacation. And thank you for the flight."  
  
"Yeah, and there's another thing. I really need more- -what did you say? Did I just hear egotistical Joshua Lyman saying 'thank you' to someone?"  
  
"Yeah, don't spread that around. We wouldn't want people on the Hill thinking I've gone soft, you know?"  
  
"Yeah, that'd be a flat out tragedy, wouldn't it?"  
  
************~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~ ~~~~~~~~  
  
Toby walked quickly by his office and the one formerly occupied by Will Bailey, now empty, glancing into both as he passed. He made it about ten more feet, stopped suddenly and backtracked. He quietly opened the door to the latter office. There was someone sitting in the chair with a newspaper, feet stretched out onto the desk, facing away from the door.  
  
"I'm thinking," Toby said, "that either they hired me a new deputy and forgot to tell me, or someone forgot to tell someone else that Will Bailey works for the Vice-President now. Or Ginger's forgotten which office is mine."  
  
"Or," came the muffled voice, "someone's just messing with your head." The chair spun around to reveal one of the last people Toby expected.  
  
"Sam." The surprise was barely evident on Toby's face but Sam knew it was there. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Oh, you know. Wanted to check out the old office, see what you've done with the place. Seems to be vacant now though."  
  
"So it would," agreed Toby. "Come on, you know what I mean. Why are you here?"  
  
"I wanted to see Josh, when he comes back," Sam became suddenly serious.  
  
"Ah, of course," said Toby. "He should be back in town tomorrow, but he has to check in with Leo before he can resume work. So when did he tell you?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"When did Josh tell you. About his thing?"  
  
"He didn't," Sam said, slightly puzzled. "I just found out Monday."  
  
"Oh. Oh," Toby struggled for words. "I'm sorry, I assumed he would have told you- -,"  
  
"He didn't."  
  
"I see," murmured Toby. "I see."  
  
"Did you know?"  
  
"No, I didn't. He did an amazingly good job of hiding it. I think it was just Donna, Leo and the President. Leo told C.J. about a week ago to ask her about the public reaction and she told Joey Lucas a couple hours before the story broke. He told me about three minutes before C.J. announced."  
  
"Why Joey?"  
  
"She did a bit of polling. C.J. thought it would be good of her to tell her what it was for before the story, with Josh's permission of course."  
  
"You were upset?" Sam asked quietly, interpreting Toby's sullen mood.  
  
"I was," he sighed. "I blew up at him. I'm still not entirely sure why either. Part of me was mad at him for keeping it hidden. But the other- -I think I was mad at myself."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"After he told me, all the pieces fell into place. Everything was so blatantly obvious. But if it was so obvious, why did I never notice it? After everything that had happened I never even stopped to consider that it had had such an effect on Josh mentally. I saw his hand. I knew how the music bothered him. I just never put 2 and 2 together."  
  
"None of us did, Toby. Don't beat yourself up over it. Josh tries to hide these things, he thinks they're weaknesses. It's not your fault that he's good at it."  
  
"Yeah," said Toby, somewhat unconvinced still.  
  
"By the way," said Sam suddenly, "what's this I hear about twins?"  
  
"Ah yes," Toby smiled slightly, "Huck and Molly."  
  
"Huck?" asked Sam skeptically.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Old family name. He's definitely going to be made fun of at school."  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"Thanks for the support there."  
  
"No prob."  
  
"Molly's named after Zoey's secret service agent who was killed the night she was kidnapped. That's the night they were born."  
  
Sam nodded. "That's nice," he murmured. "You have any pictures?"  
  
"In my office. You do realize how strange it might look to a passer-by that we're standing here talking in a vacant office when my own is right next- -?"  
  
"Toby! Sam! Senior staff in- -," C.J. paused. "Okay, I'm going to close my eyes for a few seconds and try to remember if I only imagined that Sam left for California after we won reelection- -No, don't think I imagined that, Sam, what the hell are you doing here?"  
  
"I can't possibly imagine why I don't visit more often," Sam stated dryly.  
  
"Tell me about it," C.J. said, "Toby, we have to go, Leo wants to talk to everybody together before the day gets going."  
  
"Yeah, let's go."  
  
"I'll come too," Sam announced.  
  
They reached Leo's office where Leo was already inside talking to Will. Others present included Margaret, Ginger and Charlie.  
  
"I thought you said senior staff?" inquired Toby quietly. C.J. shrugged.  
  
"I'll just wait out here," Sam gestured to the hallway.  
  
"C.J., Toby, Sam, come on in," Leo waved them in. There was a general chorus of 'Hey Sam!' from inside the room.  
  
"Leo, you do remember that Sam doesn't work here anymore, right?" C.J. asked.  
  
"Ah, don't worry. This isn't a matter of national security or anything. I think we'll give Sam the benefit of the doubt." Sam flashed a smile to C.J.  
  
"What's going on, Leo?" asked Toby.  
  
"C.J., shut the door," Leo gestured. "As you all know, Josh is going to be coming back within the next few days. Now I'm sure that all of you will be supportive of him, but I want to know if you hear of anyone- - I mean anyone- -who works in the West Wing who's blowing him shit about this. He'll have plenty enough of this as it is, he doesn't need people working with him being hostile. He needs to feel comfortable in his environment if he's going to completely recover from this."  
  
"How's he ever going to go back to working on the Hill?" asked C.J. "If you're worried about hostility, sending him into a room full of Republicans who already want to rip him apart- -,"  
  
"We'll deal with it when we deal with it. Angela's going to continue to cover the meetings for a bit, I'm hoping we'll get Josh back within a week or so of his coming back to work, if you take my meaning."  
  
******~~~~~~~~~******~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~******* *~~~~~~~  
  
"No, Josh."  
  
"Donna!"  
  
"You're tired! You just came back late last night. You are not going into work, even for a little while!"  
  
"I knew I shouldn't have called you first."  
  
"Ah, you wouldn't have known what to do once you got there without me."  
  
"That is not true! And besides, I won't actually want to do any work. I just want to talk to Leo and C.J. and pick up a few files to read over while I'm- -"  
  
"And where are these files that you were wanting to read?"  
  
"Well, that's where you come in."  
  
"Ha!" Donna's voice was triumphant. "Told you, you wouldn't know what to do there without me!"  
  
"You could just tell me, you know," Josh said scathingly. "Or I could find them myself."  
  
"Josh, the day you actually find something at work on your own will be the day I bring you coffee."  
  
"I'm holding you to that, you know," Josh muttered.  
  
"I don't think I have too much to worry about," Donna replied coolly.  
  
"Fine then. Can we go in to work now?" Josh changed the subject abruptly, back to the previous discussion.  
  
"Fine!" snapped Donna, "I'll pick you up in ten minutes and go find your blasted files! You are spending no more than twenty minutes in that building, got it, bucko?"  
  
"Ah, there's my lovely assistant, back to her normal self," Josh countered sweetly.  
  
The only reply was the slamming of a receiver at the other end and the dial tone.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~*********~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~***********~~~~~~~~ ~~******  
  
For all her whining, Josh didn't think Donna was really in as bad a mood as she had sounded. Sure, she honked incessantly, while waiting for him to get in the car, and drove just a little too fast, and slammed on the breaks just a little harder than need be. And sure, she glared at Josh more evilly than anyone had ever before, when he suggested they go for pancakes when they were done. But she really didn't seem that mad.  
  
Once they parked, Donna grabbed her purse and got out of the car, and Josh did the same. For good measure, Donna slammed her car door, though Josh could tell she was just trying to make him feel guilty. She turned to walk away, but then stopped suddenly. She turned back to the door at started at it for a few moments, and then looked up at Josh. Josh was startled to see an almost frightened expression on her face.  
  
"Are you all right?" he asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah," Donna seemed to snap out of whatever trance she had been in, "yeah, let's go."  
  
She calmed down after that, and didn't say much of anything as they passed through security and into the hallways of the West Wing. Josh ran off a list of the files he wanted and she disappeared to go find them. Josh made his way to Leo's office. Margaret smiled at him as he approached.  
  
"Hey, Margaret. Is he free?" Josh asked.  
  
She shook her head. "He's on an important call from Russia. He should be done soon though, if you'd like to- -"  
  
"Margaret!"  
  
"There we go." Margaret stuck her head in the office and exchanged a few, quick words with her boss. She motioned to Josh when she came back out that he could go on in.  
  
"Hi, Leo. Got a minute?"  
  
"Sure, Josh! How's your mother?"  
  
"Not bad, not bad. Still thinks I should just come home 'not deal with all that political nonsense my father got me involved in'. She says 'hi', by the way."  
  
Leo laughed. "Sounds like her alright. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Oh, I'm feeling great!" Josh exclaimed. "Except maybe for this sunburn I seemed to have picked up down in Florida. Hurts like hell. Ah well."  
  
"Okay. Well I've got a thing here in a couple minutes. I imagine Donna's keeping you to a strict schedule while here?"  
  
"Oh yes: 'not a minute over twenty', or something to that effect."  
  
"Right. Why don't you just come in tomorrow morning, whenever, and we'll discuss getting you back on track for work?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan. I think I'll go off and bug C.J. now, if you'll excuse me- -"  
  
Josh shut the door and wound his way towards the communications department. He realized C.J. was in the middle of her noon briefing, as he passed by the press room. She seemed to be wrapping it up though. She called on one final reporter for a question.  
  
"C.J., can you confirm or deny any of the rumors about Sam Seaborn's presence in town again?"  
  
Josh stared. He was sure there must have been some mistake. Sam wasn't in town. Was he?  
  
"I can confirm that Mr. Seaborn is, in fact, in town. And in fact, if you all turn around very quickly, you can see him grinning stupidly and waving like an idiot from the back window," C.J. said wryly.  
  
"But no comment as to why- -"  
  
"The White House does not comment on the personal lives- -"C.J. cut herself off, realizing what she was about to say. "I can't comment on why a person chooses to visit Washington," she finished lamely. "That's it for now, everyone."  
  
C.J. left the podium. Sam came in from the other side of the room and caught up with her as she was on her way out.  
  
"You know, C.J., if I didn't know better, I would say you were about to say 'the White House does not comment on the personal lives of staffers.' Which would be the second time in two days that you mistakenly called me a staffer again."  
  
"Stuff it, Sam."  
  
"You know," Josh spoke up from his corner, "the reporter had a fair question. Why are you back in town?"  
  
C.J. and Sam turned in surprise.  
  
"Josh! I didn't know you were- -"Sam began, unsure of what to say. Josh just looked at him for several moments before busting out laughing. The two embraced each other briefly.  
  
"How've you been?" exclaimed Josh. "California treating you well?"  
  
"Joshua Lyman!" another voice exclaimed, "What did I say? Twenty minutes! We were supposed to leave- -"  
  
Donna's voice cut off, seeing Sam. "Oh."  
  
"I see some things haven't changed around here at all," Sam said. Donna hit him. "Ouch."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**** ********  
  
A/N: Well there we go--yet another chapter! Go me, I'm just typing away! ;p  
  
It's time to- - - - REVIEW!!!!!! I know you all want to- - -  
  
Cheers!  
  
*~Lexi Lupin~* 


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST TIME, NONE OF IT IS MINE!!!! AGHHHH!!!!! (Cheers!)  
  
A/N: Sorry on the wait...I was waiting for school to be out...so now that it is...well, here we go!  
  
My dorky computer keeps ignoring the scene separation lines in here (they worked in, like, EVERY OTHER chapter!!! So I am re-uploading this chapter to see if I can't get something to work...(I also got a handful of complaints about A/N's, so I took those out too! I have my readers best interests at heart here, I really do!)  
  
Chapter 6  
  
"Strawberry daiquiri?" Donna took the glass from the server. "Ginger ale? Club soda?" Drinks were passed around the table some more. "And a grasshopper?"  
  
"C.J., what is your deal with that damn drink?" demanded Josh. "Don't you find it just a little odd that you're drinking something named for an insect?"  
  
"Must we go through this every time we go out?"  
  
"Yes!" exclaimed Sam, Josh, and Donna all at once. C.J. shrugged her shoulders in defeat.  
  
"So, how long are you in town, Sam?" Donna asked.  
  
"Ah, however long. I pretty much do what I want. I told my boss a couple weeks, but I'm sure I can get a little leeway if necessary."  
  
"Good," muttered Toby, "you can spend your time helping my catch up with all the crap in the Communications office."  
  
"You know, Toby, you could just try hiring a new deputy," C.J. pointed out.  
  
"Well the last time, that didn't work out too well, now did it, Sam?"  
  
Sam cringed a little. "Hey," he defended himself, "how was I supposed to know Will would go work for Russell? And he DID help you with the State of the Union, which was originally all he was supposed to do."  
  
Toby eyed him incredulously. "I wasn't talking about Will, Sam."  
  
"Ah," Sam said slowly, looking just slightly guilty, "right." The atmosphere had formerly been lively and friendly, but now there was a noticeable tension in the air.  
  
"Look, guys, let's not do this here, kay?" Josh said hesitantly. "Sam's in town for a couple weeks, let's make the best of it without going in to 'who abandoned who' and 'Aristotelian versions of events'." He said this last part with a reminiscing grin on his face.  
  
"Hey, what were the chances? A rainstorm, a ,- -Right. Sorry," Sam apologized sheepishly as everyone else at the small table glared at him murderously.  
  
"Toby?"  
  
"Yeah," Toby said quietly, "yeah."  
  
"Well it's getting late," Donna declared. "I need to get up early to start going through stacked up paper work. I'm going home and going to bed." She stood up and put her coat on as Josh moved onto her chair to better talk with the others. "Josh?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm talking to Sam and C.J. and Toby for a little while longer." Donna looked at him expectantly. "I'm going home and going to bed because it's getting late," Josh amended. He stood up and muttered, "It's not like Sam moved to California or anything.- -..."  
  
"What was that?" Donna asked sweetly.  
  
"Nothing, nothing." Everyone else at the table was doing their best to hide their smirks at the exchange going on in front of them.  
  
"Bye Josh! Bye Donna!" everyone called after them.  
  
S  
  
"You're sure you're ready for this, Josh?"  
  
"Yes," insisted Josh, "I feel great. Talking to Stanley really did the trick, and just the time off. Nothing quite like spending a couple days on the Florida beach. 'Cept I still have this sunburn, hurts like hell. Ah well."  
  
Leo smiled faintly at his deputy. Some things never changed. Josh's complaining manner was one of them.  
  
"Well, then I guess there's not a lot else to say. You're still going to be sharing your work with Angela and I am insisting that you don't try and take full work days yet. Don't stress yourself out, ease back into things."  
  
"Leo, even if you hadn't said that about three times already, Stanley said the same thing. I understand. Stop worrying yourself over me. You'll be the stressed out one!"  
  
"Fine, fine," surrendered Leo. "You can go. You think I should call ahead so Donna knows not to usher you out the door- -..."  
  
The door to the oval office opened and the President stuck his head inside the room. "Josh, how are you feeling?" he asked concernedly.  
  
"Just fine, thank you, Mr. President," Josh said politely, though inside he was wondering how many more people were going to ask him that today.  
  
There was a knock at Leo's door. "Come in," called Leo.  
  
"Hey, Leo, I just wanted to ask- -..."  
  
"Samuel Norman Seaborn!" Sam's eyes widened noticeably.  
  
"Mr. President! Excuse me, I didn't see you there."  
  
"No problem, no problem. Josh, you've been given permission to resume work?" Josh nodded. "Good, good. Take it easy son, would you?" Josh struggled to keep his breathing controlled.  
  
"Of course, Mr. President," he answered tersely.  
  
"I suppose I'm about the fourth person to say that today, huh?" The President asked jokingly.  
  
"More like the sixth," corrected Josh, smiling now.  
  
"Okay. Go get yourself to work, I can tell you're anxious to." Josh nodded and left the room. "Sam, come in here and sit down, we are going to talk about California and why it is more preferable to be there than here." It was Sam's turn to look alarmed.  
  
"Actually, Mr. President, I've had that conversation about three times already, and- -..."  
  
"Ah, I don't care. It's my turn to hear about your 'Aristotelian version of events' and whatnot that landed you back in Orange County." The President ushered a somewhat unwilling Sam into the Oval Office. Leo just laughed.  
  
S  
  
Donna sat at her desk going through the seemingly endless pile of mail. Some things were junk and were thrown away, others were set aside for Josh to read. For the most part, she opened and read everything. She was opening what felt like the three hundredth letter. It was extremely thin.  
  
She looked inside the plain white envelope and pulled out a single sheet of printer paper. She unfolded it, prepared to chuck it in the trash with the others. When she looked at it though, she let out a small shriek, clasped a hand over her mouth, and felt her blood run cold.  
  
S  
  
Josh rounded the corner and Donna's desk came in to view.  
  
"I am good to go for work!" he proudly announced. She didn't seem to hear him, she was engrossed with a sheet of paper in her hand. He then noticed that she seemed rather pale (at least paler than usual, despite her sensitive alabaster skin). "Everything okay?" he asked.  
  
"Wha-...yeah." Donna hastily folded the sheet back up. "Yeah, everything's great. Just looking over some mail."  
  
"Right," Josh said, not quite sure what was going on. He gestured to a small stack of envelopes on the desk. "These mine?"  
  
Donna eyed them apprehensively, now unsure whether or not to give them to Josh.  
  
"Donna? Are these mine?"  
  
"Yeah. Go ahead. Sorry, I have to go talk to someone, I'll be back in a couple minutes..." She stood up and slipped past Josh, taking the paper with her.  
  
Josh just shook his head. "Women," he muttered.  
  
S  
  
Leo was interrupted yet again by a hesitant knock at his open office door. "It's like a circus in here today," he said. He looked up. "Hey Donna, whatcha need? In case you're wondering, yes, I did tell Josh it was okay to go back to work." Donna didn't even crack a small smile. Leo then noticed she looked fearful and was trembling slightly. "Hey, what's up, kid?" he asked.  
  
Donna closed the door to the office. "I-..." she stuttered, "I was going through all of Josh's mail that's piled up over the last several days, and I came across- -..." she didn't know how to say it.  
  
"Donna? If it's a threat letter you're talking about, we all get those every week. It's nothing to be worried about, we just send them all to the Secret Service, they decide which ones need to be watched more closely."  
  
"No," Donna said firmly, "not this one. This is different." She held up the folded sheet of paper and handed it, shaking, to Leo. He just gave Donna a perplexed look and she motioned for him to open it. He did just that.  
  
Leo inhaled sharply. Nothing could have prepared him for what he was looking at. "Did he see this?" he demanded sharply. Donna shook her head wordlessly.  
  
Leo picked up his phone. "Margaret, I need Ron Butterfield on the phone as soon as possible."  
  
Drawn in color on the plain white sheet of paper was a burning house with a little girl trapped inside and a little boy leaving the house carrying the fire extinguisher.  
  
S  
  
A/N: I have a sick imagination, I know.  
  
On the topic of sensitive alabaster skin: I have red hair, so I tan, like, not at all...it really sucks. I'm taking a summer gym class right now and I am about the only person who has to wear frickin' sunscreen cuz I burn so easily...argh, just my little rant there...  
  
Anywhoosits, there's chappie 6...hopefully I can get the next out within the next week or two...we shall see!  
  
Questions? Comments? Criticism? Just click the bottom below that says 'review'!!!  
  
Cheers!  
  
Lexi Lyman 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Haven't we all figured this part out about now? I mean, come on!  
  
A/N: Just got back from DC the other night! Fun stuff, I got 2 personal tours of the Capitol by interns in my Congressman's office! Got to go in the Pentagon...oh, it's been a busy week.  
  
A/N2: Okay, last chapter I had trouble getting my section separating lines to work so if they aren't there, I'll fix it later when I get the chance.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
"Do you really have to leave?"  
  
"Yes, Josh," Sam answered patiently, "it's kind of hard to make a living while being on vacation constantly. See, eventually they stop paying you."  
  
"Yeah, but couldn't you just stay around a little while longer?" Josh whined.  
  
"I've been here for two weeks already! What do you want from me?"  
  
"You know," Josh said thoughtfully, "you could just stay here. Forever."  
  
"No!" Sam insisted, "I really couldn't. I am leaving the day after tomorrow so my boss doesn't fire me! California, sun, my job, remember?"  
  
"Oh, fine," grumbled Josh. He brightened up quickly though. "We'll just have to take you out tomorrow night and get you drunk before you leave!"  
  
"Not too drunk though, okay?" Sam pleaded. "There's nothing quite like a hangover on a plane."  
  
"We'll see," Josh said mischievously.  
  
There was a knock on the office door. "Come in," Josh called.  
  
The door opened and Donna entered, coat in hand. "It's getting late," she said, "I'm heading home. Coming?"  
  
"Nah," Josh shrugged, "I'll walk." Donna eyed him expectantly. "Come on, it's not that far," Josh insisted, "And Sam's hotel is on the way if anything comes up."  
  
"Alright," Donna gave in, "but if you're tired and sore in the morning, don't come complaining to me."  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Josh waved her out the door and began getting his things together for the several block walk to his Georgetown apartment.  
  
s   
  
"You coming by the office tomorrow?" Josh asked.  
  
"Maybe late in the day," Sam said, "if you're getting me drunk I should be packed to go beforehand."  
  
"Fair enough," Josh laughed, "I'll see you then."  
  
The two turned their separate ways to their hotel and apartment, respectively.  
  
As Josh approached the last block to his apartment, he passed by an alleyway. He heard an odd noise and turned to take a look down it. Not seeing anyone or anything he continued on his way.  
  
"Strays," he muttered, although a bit nervously. It wasn't unheard of a person being mugged in this area after all.  
  
He turned around for one last look behind him as a figure launched itself out from a dark corner, mask over his face and what seemed to be a baseball bat in hand. Startled at being seen before expected, the masked figure got over his shock. Josh had frozen as well and barely had time to react as the bat come swinging towards his stomach. He tripped over backwards and landed uncomfortably over his backpack, though he was more focused on the pain in his lower abdomen.  
  
Josh cringed, expecting a swing at his head, when he heard more footsteps, running towards them. He pleaded in his head for it not to be someone else who wished him dead.  
  
His silent plea appeared to be answered as the masked person ran away and a hand reached down to help him up.  
  
"Mr. Lyman?" the incredulous voice asked. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Urgh," Josh grunted as he got to his feet, recognizing Manish, a man who lived a couple floors below him.  
  
"Do you want me to call the police? An ambulance?" the anxious man said.  
  
"No thanks," Josh finally found his voice, "I'm fine. Just a little startled is all. It's a good thing you came when you did though. What are you doing out here this late?"  
  
"Late night at work," explained Manish, "going away party for a co-worker who's going to Wisconsin." He watched Josh pick up his pack and wince a little as he straightened up. "Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm sure," Josh assured his anxious neighbor. "Thanks a lot though. I shudder to think what would have happened if you hadn't shown up when you did."  
  
"No problem," the man said, still looking a little worried. "Why don't we get you back to your apartment?"  
  
"Sounds like a good idea to me."  
  
s   
  
"Senior staff in fifteen minutes," Donna called as Josh walked stiffly passed the bullpen. Josh nodded and disappeared into his office. Donna grinned and followed him in.  
  
"So, are you sore and tired?" she asked.  
  
"You have no idea." Josh stated monotonously, wincing as he sat down.  
  
"So you're going to listen to your all knowing assistant from now on, right?"  
  
"Unlikely, but I'll at least pretend for a while."  
  
"Ah, there's the Josh I know and love."  
  
"Damn right."  
  
"See, and I was thinking of bringing you coffee."  
  
"Yeah, but we both knew that was never going to happen."  
  
"Fair enough," Donna conceded.  
  
"Yeah," Josh said vaguely. "Where's my memo on- -,"  
  
"Right here," Donna presented said memo from the corner of the cluttered desk.  
  
"Excellent," Josh said, "I'm off."  
  
When he reached the Oval Office, he found the door was closed and Toby and C.J. were waiting by Charlie's desk.  
  
"Mi amore!" C.J. exclaimed. "How are you on this fine morning?"  
  
Josh gave Toby a quizzical look.  
  
"She's been like this all morning," Toby muttered. C.J. hit him playfully just as the door opened.  
  
"Claudia Jean, what have I told you about hitting the other classmates," the President asked.  
  
"Good morning, Mr. President," they all chanted dutifully as they filed into the office.  
  
s   
  
"Are you alright, Josh?" Leo asked as they walked out. "You look a little pale."  
  
"I'm fine," Josh insisted, "stop being so paranoid. Just a little tired."  
  
"Don't overdo it though, okay? What have you got now?"  
  
"Erm...meeting with Senators Eisenhauer and Gates. Mural room."  
  
"About the thing with the- -,"  
  
"Yeah. I'll report back to you when it's over. Shouldn't take too long."  
  
"Do a job."  
  
Josh walked to the Mural room and opened the door. Both senators were already there waiting for him.  
  
"Senator, senator," Josh shook both their hands. "Have a seat."  
  
s   
  
"Another three million for- -,"  
  
"If you say what I think you're about to say- -,"  
  
"Josh- -,"  
  
"We've already given you twelve!"  
  
"Yes, and we need another three."  
  
"One."  
  
"Two and a half."  
  
Josh was silent.  
  
"Josh?" questioned Gates. "Josh, are you alright?"  
  
Josh's breathing had become more labored and he didn't seem to hear what they were saying.  
  
"Josh?"  
  
People calling his name was the last thing to register in his mind before Josh lost consciousness.  
  
s   
  
"Yeah?" called Leo as Margaret appeared in his doorway.  
  
"Leo, Senator Eisenhauer's on the phone. He says it's urgent."  
  
"Okay. Wait, isn't Eisenhauer in a meeting with Josh?"  
  
"Yeah," answered Margaret, "the operator put it through from the Mural room."  
  
Waving her out, Leo picked up the receiver. "Senator?" he questioned. "What seems to be the problem? Isn't Josh there?"  
  
"Leo," the voice on the other end sounded agitated, "Leo, Josh just fainted."  
  
"He WHAT?"  
  
"He passed out right in the middle of the meeting!"  
  
"Did you call GW?"  
  
"Yeah, they've got an ambulance on the way."  
  
"Okay," Leo said, trying to organize his thoughts, "okay. I'll be right over. Try to keep things under the radar a little, the people who need to know will know." The receiver clicked on the other end. Leo scribbled a quick note and hurried out the door. He made his way to Charlie's desk and handed him the folded note.  
  
"Charlie, I need you to find the First Lady and give her this," he said quickly and then left.  
  
Charlie looked a bit bewildered and then pulled up a calendar on his computer. He groaned.  
  
"What wrong with you?" asked Debbie.  
  
"The First Lady's in a meeting with the Women's Caucus."  
  
s   
  
"So, as I was saying- -," the First Lady was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Come in," she called. Charlie entered the room and motioned towards the note in hand. "Oh, what does that jackass want now?" she growled in annoyance. "Sorry ladies, I'll be back as soon as possible." She exited the room.  
  
"I beg your pardon, Ma'am," Charlie corrected, "but it was Leo who told me to get you, not the President." He handed her Leo's note.  
  
"You automatically assumed I meant the President when I said jackass?" asked Abbey teasingly.  
  
"I...well...,"  
  
"I'm just kidding, Charlie. Now what's- -," she read over the brief notes a few times before jumping into action. "Excuse me," she said hurriedly and swiftly headed towards the Mural room. Charlie just shook his head in confusion.  
  
s   
  
"What happened?" Abbey demanded of the two Senators, as she kneeled down by Josh, noticing his weak pulse and labored breathing.  
  
"We honestly couldn't say," Gates said, "He was sitting there, arguing funding with us, and all of a sudden he just seemed to tune us out, and he starting breathing funny. He collapsed in a matter of seconds. An ambulance is on the way," he added.  
  
Abbey nodded. "Has anyone said anything to Donna?"  
  
"Oh, holy hell- -," Leo sighed. Just then, Donna appeared in the doorway.  
  
"Secret Service is clearing people out of the bullpen, what's going- -," she stopped, registering the scene before her. "Oh my god! What happened?" she looked accusingly at the people in the room before rushing to where Abbey was kneeling on the floor.  
  
"Calm down, Donna, or you'll have to leave," Leo said, though he himself looked anything but calm. "Josh fainted, we don't know why. An ambulance from GW is on the way." He turned back to Abbey, looking thoughtful. "You know, he didn't look too great earlier, but he just passed it off as being tired."  
  
"He walked home last night with Sam, his hotel's just a couple blocks away," Donna supplied, trying to be helpful.  
  
"He walked?" asked a baffled Leo. "I tell him to take it easy, and he walks?"  
  
"I told him not to," Donna said, "but he insisted. And he came in this morning barely able to walk, sit or stand up without wincing."  
  
"That doesn't really make sense," said Abbey, "it sounds more like he hurt or broke a rib or something along those lines. Which he didn't, it's easy enough to feel if you know what to feel for."  
  
As gently as she could, she untucked Josh's shirt. "I'm going to check for bruising. It's possible he fell and hit something the wrong way." She inhaled sharply as she pulled the shirt over Josh's stomach. Donna gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth.  
  
A line bruises, ranging in color, crossed over Josh's stomach. Before anyone could do or say anything, the door burst open.  
  
"Everyone out of the way," someone demanded. A stretcher was wheeled in. Josh was moved on to it and it was swiftly rolled away, Secret Servicemen flanking the paramedics and going ahead to be sure the path was cleared.  
  
"Abbey, you and Donna should go ahead to the hospital. I need to be here, at least for the moment, and I need to tell the President what's happened, along with the other senior staff. Call and keep me informed, would you?"  
  
They nodded their agreement to Leo and took off with Abbey's Secret Service protection to get in the car.  
  
Leo turned to the two Senators. "You two should probably go back to your offices. We would appreciate if you could keep this under wraps until we find out more and C.J. alerts the media, but obviously you are free to do as you please."  
  
"No, no, we'll keep quiet. Could you possibly call when you've found something out?" Gates inquired.  
  
"Sure thing," Leo replied. He left the room and made his way to the Oval Office.  
  
"What's he got now, Charlie?"  
  
"Nothing, but he's expecting a call from the Attorney General in a few minutes. Hey, is everything okay, Leo?"  
  
"We'll see," Leo answered vaguely, letting himself into the office.  
  
"Hey, Leo!" exclaimed the President. "What have you done with my wife? Charlie tells me you made him get her out of her woman's thing, and you know I'm the one who will have to suffer the consequences of that later tonight."  
  
Leo said nothing, closing the door of the office behind him.  
  
s   
  
A/N: Whew! Sorry it's been so long, but...well...I don't really have an excuse, so deal with it!!! MUAHAHAH!!!!!!!  
  
You know you all want to review...why fight that inner urge??? Your comments can only make my story better! Well, we'll see about that... heeheehee...  
  
Cheers!  
  
Lexi Lyman 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know it's not mine...or do we???  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Secret Service agents swarmed into the Oval Office.  
  
"What- -?" The President began.  
  
"Sir," Ron Butterfield cut him off, "we need you to stay here and stay as far away from windows and doors as possible. We're in a lockdown."  
  
"What the hell for?" demanded Bartlet.  
  
"Our agent in the ambulance was able to determine an attack of sorts on Mr. Lyman. We're just doing a routine check of the White House to make sure it wasn't anyone in the building. The paramedics were relatively convinced it happened last night though, probably after he left work."  
  
"Mr. President," Leo interjected, "I was just starting to tell you. Josh collapsed in his meeting with Senators Gates and Eisenhauer. They've taken him to GW already. Donna and Abbey followed."  
  
"I don't understand," the President stated. "He was attacked?"  
  
"It would seem so," Leo said grimly. "Abbey exposed his stomach, there were bruises entirely covering his lower abdomen. Josh may be clumsy, but he couldn't have done something like that by himself."  
  
"Leo- -," started the President.  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"Dammit!" he exclaimed. "Leo! How does this happen?" Leo was surprised at the anger and hatred in the President's eyes.  
  
"We think something happened on his way home last night. He walked, with Sam."  
  
"He walked," the President said in amazement. "Josh walked home?"  
  
"Yeah. You know Josh, sir. He doesn't like to seem...you know."  
  
"Excuse me, Leo?" Ron broke in. "Sam Seaborn?"  
  
"Yeah, he's in town for a few weeks."  
  
"If he walked home with Mr. Lyman, we'll need to talk with him. Can you tell me where he's staying?"  
  
"I can't, actually," Leo said. "C.J. or Toby would probably know. Donna would for sure, but she's on her way to the hospital."  
  
Ron pulled out his radio and spoke quietly into it. "I need Flamingo and Porcupine to Eagle."  
  
"Porcupine?" the President mouthed to Leo. Leo just shrugged.  
  
About thirty seconds later, Toby and an indignant C.J. were ushered into the Oval Office, the door shutting firmly behind them.  
  
"Mr. President," both greeted. "What's going on?" Toby asked softly.  
  
"Ron wanted to know if either of you could provide him with the name of the hotel that Sam is staying at." Leo wasted no time.  
  
"It's the Churchill," C.J. said, "but what- -?"  
  
"Building's clear," Ron spoke up again. "The Churchill? In Georgetown on Wisconsin?" C.J. nodded silently. "Thank you. Thank you, Mr. President, you're free to move around again. I have a job to do now, so if you'll excuse me..."  
  
"Thanks Ron," the President called at his retreating form.  
  
"C.J., Toby, sit down," Leo ordered. "Now here's what's going on..."  
  
s   
  
Sam Seaborn groggily reached over for the phone as it started ringing.  
  
"'Ello?" he said as coherently as possible.  
  
"Mr. Seaborn?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"There's a gentleman on the phone who wishes to speak with you, by the name of Ron Butterfield."  
  
Sam was instantly awake. "Put him through," he told the woman. 'Well this can't be good," he thought...  
  
s  
  
"Ron," Sam greeted the agent, "it's good to talk to you. Is everything alright?"  
  
"Sam, I need you to tell me about your walk home with Josh last night. Did anything unusual happen between the White House and where the two of you parted?" he asked in a low voice.  
  
"No," Sam answered in confusion, "there weren't even that many people out on the street. It was an uneventful walk, we just talked. We split at Pennsylvania and 29th. Ron," he paused, "what's happened?"  
  
"I'm not in a position to say. I'd call Leo if I were you."  
  
s   
  
"Dr. Bartlet?" a young doctor approached Donna and Abbey where they were sitting. "I'm Doctor Freemont. We've completed Josh's procedure."  
  
"And was it- -?"  
  
The doctor nodded. "It was just as you suspected. Hemorrhaging of- -," he went on in a long stream of medical terms that Donna didn't even come close to understanding. Doctor Freemont then seemed to notice her standing there in confusion. "I'm sorry," he turned to her. "I didn't catch your name."  
  
"Donna Moss," she said, "I'm Josh's assistant. Is he going to be okay?"  
  
"He'll be fine," he smiled at her, "Your boss was suffering from internal bleeding. Nothing too serious, or he would have been here much sooner, but enough to cause concern. We've closed up everything and he should be good to go in two or three days. I wonder if I might have a word with Dr. Bartlet alone?" he asked kindly.  
  
"Sure," Donna said, "Ma'am? Should I call Leo, or do you want to?"  
  
"Go ahead," Abbey waved Donna on, "just tell him exactly what Dr. Freemont said. Then we'll go up to Josh's room."  
  
s   
  
"I'll tell you what," Leo said, as he hung the phone up, "the worst phone call I've ever had to make in my life was the night of the shooting in Rosslyn."  
  
"Josh's mother?" Toby guessed quietly.  
  
"Yeah," Leo sighed. "I mean, how do you call a woman you've known for over forty years and tell her that her son has been shot in the chest, the bullet centimeters away from his heart, and you won't know much more for fourteen hours, until the surgery is done? Anyway, the second worst was probably calling her and telling her that her son just fainted and we have no idea why. I think she's going to have a heart attack next time she hears my voice over the phone out of the blue."  
  
"Is that who you just hung up with?" Toby asked.  
  
"No. That was another call that makes the top ten. Sam, asking my why Ron Butterfield is asking him about his walk home with Josh last night."  
  
"Ah," Toby nodded understandingly. "Is he coming in?"  
  
"Nah, he's going right over to the hospital."  
  
"I- -," Toby struggled to find the words, "I remember trying to tell Donna what happened to Josh. She had only heard about the President being shot. We told her he would be alright and she just smiled and looked said how relieved she was. No one could find the heart to tell her- -," he paused. "I finally spoke up."  
  
"Leo?" Margaret came in. "Donna's on line one. She says she has good news."  
  
s   
  
"C.J.! C.J.!" Reporters called to C.J. from all directions. One spoke above the others. "C.J., can you tell us why an ambulance was in the driveway earlier? Who was taken out in it? Does it have anything to do with the lockdown?"  
  
"Yes, I can tell you why, if everyone would shut up for two minutes!" The room promptly got quiet. "Thank you. At approximately 9:15 A.M., Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman fainted while in a meeting in the Mural room. The cause," she paused as the volume went back up, "the cause," she said again, a little louder, "has yet to be determined. He has been taken to GW, George Washington Hospital, we are awaiting an update on his condition. Mark?" she stopped for a question.  
  
"Was this the cause of the Secret Service lockdown?"  
  
"I can not comment on Secret Service procedure," C.J. paused as Toby handed a note to Carol, looking grim. Carol read it over once and headed towards the podium. C.J. read the note thoroughly before turning back to the White House press corps. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an update on Josh's condition."  
  
s   
  
"Donna!"  
  
Donna turned around as she closed her cell phone to see someone hurrying towards her. One of the many agents that had accompanied her and Abbey to the hospital took a step in her direction, but she waved him off.  
  
"Sam. Did Leo call you?"  
  
"No, actually," he replied, "I called him. How's Josh? Did you find out anything more?"  
  
"He'll be fine, we're going up to see him in a couple minutes." Sam noticeably relaxed at this information. "He probably won't be awake for an hour or two though."  
  
"Sam!" Abbey approached the pair from behind. "It's good to see you again."  
  
"And you, Mrs. Bartlet. I wasn't expecting to see you here."  
  
"Well," she answered, "I may not be practicing medicine, but I still know my stuff."  
  
"Ah..." Sam said vaguely, not quite sure how to respond to that.  
  
Abbey clapped her hands together. "Anyway, the doctor says we can go up now and see Josh. Well, actually he said Donna and I could go up and see Josh, but I'm sure one more person won't hurt, right? And it's Sam! Sam's like family!"  
  
Donna grinned at the look of embarrassment on Sam's face and led the way to the elevators.  
  
s   
  
"Josh? Josh, are you okay?"  
  
The look of panic and fear slowly edged off of Josh's face as he came to terms with where he was and who was talking to him.  
  
"Yeah," he muttered, "yeah. I'm in a hospital."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"What'd I do?"  
  
Donna was caught slightly off guard. "You...well, you fainted. During your meeting."  
  
"Oh. That. Right."  
  
"Josh?" this time Abbey questioned him. "Are you sure you're alright?"  
  
"Oh! Yes ma'am, excuse me. I didn't see you there. And Sam, don't know how I could have missed you."  
  
"How's it goin'?" Sam offered weakly.  
  
"Well, I'm sitting in a hospital bed." A sign of the real Josh began showing through as he grinned cockily. "Otherwise, not too bad, how about yourself." Sam just laughed. "I'm betting that as soon as I ask this everyone in here is going to either going to stare at me blankly or freak out, but what happened?"  
  
"You can't remember?" Donna asked worriedly.  
  
"Don't worry about it," Abbey reassured them, "you're still groggy from the anesthesia. Just try to relax, we'll worry about that later."  
  
"Yeah...well I'm still feeling a little sleepy, if you know what I mean..."  
  
"Go ahead and go to sleep, Josh. We'll be here when you- -,"  
  
Josh didn't hear any more as he slipped back into a deep sleep.  
  
s   
  
"Abbey says he's been awake for a while. He's in and out of it, but he's coherent at any rate."  
  
"Mr. President, you realize what we're going to have to do, right?" Leo raised his eyebrows questioningly at the President.  
  
"Yeah. Have you talked to Ron?"  
  
"They have an agent ready for the assignment, as soon as you can get Josh to sign the form. Once Abbey's gone, the agents leave with her, and I want someone outside his room day and night."  
  
"Leo, not that I don't agree with you, but are you sure we're not making more of this than it is? A Georgetown mugging isn't exactly unheard of, you know."  
  
"Mr. President, in the section of Georgetown that Josh lives in, it's relatively unheard of. He's the White House deputy Chief of Staff and C.J. just made a public announcement about his mental health that may make him seem vulnerable to any enemies."  
  
"Like the ones on the Hill?" the President asked jokingly.  
  
"I mean more like the ones in West Virginia White Pride."  
  
Leo and the President stared at each other for a long minute.  
  
"It wasn't Josh that they were after," the President said quietly.  
  
"Yeah? Something tells me that they didn't mind so much hitting the Jewish person instead of the black one."  
  
"We're done with this conversation," the President said flatly. "I'm taking a car to the hospital. I have to talk to Josh about Secret Service protection. I have no meetings in the next hour and a half that can't be cancelled or postponed."  
  
"I'll come by later. Thank you, Mr. President," Leo exited the room into his own office.  
  
s   
  
"Mr. President, you really didn't have to come all the way down here to see me, you know?" Josh stated.  
  
"Nonsense!" the President exclaimed. "A member of my staff is sick, I want to be there for him."  
  
"Well, thank you, sir."  
  
"Actually, I needed to talk to you about something too."  
  
"Yes?" Josh asked suspiciously.  
  
"Now, I know this just seemed to be an ordinary mugging..."  
  
"It was," Josh insisted. "Some guy in a ski mask or something came at me out of an alley with a baseball bat! It was like, something horribly clichéd out of a bad horror movie or something."  
  
"Now, Josh, let's not make light of the situation. Leo and Ron think there may have been more to it than that. And so, I wanted to discuss- -,"  
  
"No," Josh cut him off, "No. You are not going to have some agent tail me around."  
  
"Josh," the President tried to reason, "we don't want anything to happen to you. Just one agent. I went through this before with C.J., and we caught the guy- -,"  
  
"The people you guys think are after me can not be caught! There are hundreds of them, all over the place!"  
  
"I am aware of that, Joshua, but I think it's a good idea to make sure that you are safe. Particularly if you're walking home at nights."  
  
"But if there's no one to catch, I'm going to have this agent on me forever!"  
  
"Just until we leave the White House, Josh."  
  
"Three and a half years of being tagged around by someone, never getting to do what I want?"  
  
"Alright," the President nodded patiently, "I'll let it be for the moment. But once you're out of here, you, me, Leo, and Ron are all going to sit down and talk about this, okay?"  
  
"Yes, sir," Josh mumbled.  
  
s   
  
A/N: Okay...I'm not doing too bad with time for this chapter! I'm impressed with myself!  
  
I think there are only going to be one or two more chapters...but we'll see, maybe something will come into my head to keep it going longer as I'm writing...  
  
Review!!! I must know what you think!!!  
  
Cheers!  
  
Lexi Lyman 


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Wow…wow…I feel horrible…I haven't done anything with this story for months…so I feel bad. But Versipellis has been bugging me the entire time about it! :P So here goes...

BTW, remember that this was started after a few episodes of season 5, so many many things that were in season 5 and everything from season 6 thus-far never happened…got it?

Disclaimer: Alas…not mine…tear

Chapter 9

"What'd he say about it?"

The President looked wearily at his chief of staff. "What do you think?"

"Well," Leo replied, "knowing Josh, I think he blatantly refused and then got worked up about it, and knowing Donna, I think she then rushed you out of the room, scolding you for getting Josh worked up."

The President laughed quietly. "You got the first part pretty much right. I don't know, Leo. He's so insistent. I told him we'd let it be for a while, but the two of us and Ron are going to have to sit down and talk with him."

"Maybe we can find some way to make a deal with him. His mother might help us, I'm sure she'd be ecstatic about Josh having full time secret service protection. Of course, Josh would never forgive us if we got her involved."

"We'll figure out something."

s

Josh opened his eyes at the sound of a knock on the door.

"Is anyone home?" Josh heard a voice that he hadn't heard in months and quite frankly hadn't expected to hear again for years.

"Come on in," he said quietly and somewhat incredulously. "What brings you here, Mr. Vice President?"

"Please Josh, it's John. I know it's custom to use the title even after leaving office, but I'd prefer to just go back to being John Hoynes of Texas."

"Sure," Josh said understandingly, though still a little warily.

"I heard you were in the hospital, thought I'd drop by and see how you were. No need to seem so suspicious, Josh."

"Well thank you, that was very thoughtful. How have you been doing, Mr…- -John?"

"Not too bad," the former vice president of the United States pulled up a chair close to Josh's bed. "I got divorced a few months ago. It was probably for the best though. Susan was unhappy. But tell me, how are things going at the White House? The President doing well?"

"Everything's fine. Well, mostly everything. If everything was that good, I probably wouldn't be lying here," Josh joked. "Look," he paused, "It was very nice of you to stop by and everything, and I really do appreciate it, but I get the feeling that there is more that you want to say than just 'how are you' and 'get well soon.'"

Hoynes laughed. "You know, Josh, I could never get anything by you. You pick up on every little thing going on around you. That's what makes you so valuable as a politician. You can play off people's strengths and weaknesses. You're right, there is more that I wanted to discuss. I'm thinking of going back into politics."

Josh stared at him disbelievingly for several seconds.

"You know about my book coming out in a couple months, I presume?" Josh nodded wordlessly. "I was thinking, after that, maybe getting together a group, trying to get back into the Senate."

Josh finally found his voice. "I think that's great, Sir," he said. "But what does this have to do with- -…"

"You've been working in the White House for a long time, Josh. Longer than most would have expected you would be. I don't mean any offense," he added at Josh's look of protest, "but most people just don't stay that long. Most presidents, especially two-term presidents, go through two or three chiefs-of-staff alone."

"I work for President Bartlet now. I don't know what you think - -…"

"I just wanted to extend the invitation. If you maybe decided that White House politics weren't what you wanted to do anymore, there would be somewhere for you to turn. You're great at what you do, but you were better at what you were doing when you still worked for me. And with everything that's going on in your life right now. Am I right that the President and Leo are trying to force full-time Secret Service protection on you?"

Josh looked at him with surprise.

"You aren't the only person in the room with some amount of perceptiveness. Besides, that would seem to be the sensible thing to do, from their point of view. The President has always been so worrisome about his staff, it was unlikely that he wouldn't consider it after what happened."

Josh found that he couldn't say anything, and if he could, wouldn't know what to say.

Hoynes looked at his watch. "I'm afraid I have to be going. Just think about it, Josh. I'm not trying to force you into anything. I just thought you might be interested is all. It was great seeing you again. Give my greetings to everyone back at the White House."

"Sure thing," Josh said. "Take care."

"You too."

s

"Josh? Josh? JOSH?"

"Huh?" Josh finally looked up at his assistant.

"What is the matter with you, I was practically shouting your name? You seem really preoccupied! Or is it just the drugs? Are they giving you too much? I'll talk with the nurse, they might be giving you an overdose, we don't want that, bad things happen when- -…"

"Donna, it's okay," Josh cut in before she got any further. "I was just thinking about something and didn't hear you. I promise you, it's not the medicine."

"Well, if you're sure…" Donna looked suspiciously at him for a few seconds and then lightened up a bit. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing." Josh said too quickly. "I mean, nothing important. Nothing that you'd care about."

"You know," Donna said, "you really are quite weird sometimes."

"Thank you."

Donna rolled her eyes. "It wasn't exactly a compliment." She paused, not sure if Josh was ready to discuss the next topic.

"What is it?" Josh asked.

"What do you mean?" Donna asked defensively.

"You've got that look. Like you need to do something that you don't want to do."

"I do not have a look!" Donna insisted.

"Whatever you say." Josh said absently.

Donna glared at him for a few seconds. "Do I really have a look?" she asked.

"Oh yeah. This kind of glazed over thing goin' on with the eyes."

"I'm going to hit you with a pillow," Donna stated.

"Hey!" Josh protested, "I'm a guy in a hospital bed."

"Who's been insisting all day that he's well enough to go home!" She shot back.

"Fair point."

"Anyway, you're going home tonight. Doctors want a final checkup, make sure nothing unexpected happened."

"Like what?" Josh asked.

"Well how do I know if it's unexpected?"

"Another fair point. This isn't looking to good for me, is it?"

"Not really. I've already got two points on you. Maybe you're losing your touch."

"Never," Josh declared. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Leo and the President want to talk to you tomorrow. With Ron Butterfield."

"Donna," Josh whined.

"Well what I am supposed to do about it?" she asked. "The President wants to talk to you and I say 'no, sorry sir, he's just going to sit home and pout.'?"

"They're going to try to get me to sign the damn secret service protection form!"

"Maybe," Donna began hesitantly, "maybe it's a good idea."

"I can assure you it's not," Josh stated dryly.

"Why?" she asked reasonably.

"I won't be able to work! I'll be even more paranoid when I don't see the agent because I'll know he's there! I can't go through life with someone trailing my footsteps with a loaded gun."

"What are you going to do then?"

"I don't know."

s

"What is your main concern with having an agent watching over you?" Ron asked politely. They had been sitting here for what must have only been fifteen minutes or so, but seemed like an eternity to Josh.

"I like my privacy. I like to go where I want, do what I want," Josh replied. It was what he'd been saying from the start. "I don't want someone watching over me like I'm a little kid."

"You'll have plenty of freedom," Leo assured him. "It'll just be little things. You get used to it after a while anyway, you forget he's even there."

Josh sighed. "You're really not going to let this go?" he asked the President.

President Bartlet looked truly sympathetic. Josh hated it.

"I'm afraid I can't," he said sadly. "One of my family is in danger, I need to make sure he's safe. I need to be able to believe that you're okay. I'm sorry that you feel this way about it, Josh. But can't you see it from our perspective as well? We're only watching out for you, and sometimes we need to sacrifice certain things. Can you do that, for all of us?"

Josh nodded numbly. "Can I have a couple more hours to adjust before I sign the paper?" he finally asked.

"Sure," the President said. Josh excused himself from the room and headed back to his own office. The last person he expected to see was sitting at his desk, waiting for him.

"Zoey!" he exclaimed. He hadn't seen much of her since she had gone back to Manchester. "It's great to see you, you look good!"

She smiled at him. She really did look much better than the last time he'd seen her. "And you look like- -," he cut her off.

"Death on a triscuit, I know. What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were," she said. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he said. She eyed him suspiciously. "Okay, okay, so I'm not good. My chest hurts, you're father is giving me full time secret service protection, and that may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to me, and I'm inches away from a PTSD episode."

"Feel good to get that off your chest?" she asked.

"Oh yeah."

Zoey looked at him for several seconds, calculatingly and questioningly. Finally she spoke up.

"I was wondering if I could talk to you. About…you know. I've been seeing a psychiatrist. He says I'm experiencing minor panic attacks, posttraumatic stress disorder. I'll wake up and suddenly be back in a cold dark closet, half conscious but entirely too aware." She paused, unsure of what to say. "Is that how it was for you? I mean, the attacks?"

Josh was at a loss. This was about the last person he expected to be discussing this with. "Well, at first I didn't know what was happening," he began quietly. "I always felt sick and stressed. Then I put my hand through a window."

"I'm sorry," Zoey broke in, "am I being insensitive? I didn't mean to just come in here and…- -do you not want to talk about it?"

"No," Josh insisted, "it's fine."

"It's just…- -I've never felt like this before," Zoey said quietly.

"It doesn't go away," Josh whispered. Charlie had said those same words to him, and he had replied the same way some four and a half years ago, but in an entirely different context. "It doesn't go away."

s

Josh stared at the number for several minutes, phone in hand. Twice now he'd started dialing and twice he hadn't finished, hanging the phone back up. He was sitting in his living room. It was late, he hadn't gotten home until nearly nine.

Once more, Josh began punching in the numbers on his telephone. His finger hovered over the final digit and he winced, pressing it down lightly, as though hoping it wouldn't actually work. It did, too late to turn back now. He raised the phone cautiously to his ear.

It rang twice. Josh listened with bated breath. He nearly sighed with relief at the thought that no one would answer. Suddenly it clicked on the other end though.

"Hello?" Josh couldn't bring himself to answer. "Hello?" the voice said again.

Josh sat frozen, unable to speak. He finally croaked out, "John?"

s

Josh walked slowly but deliberately towards Leo's office. His conversation from the previous night was ringing in his ears.

_ "What can I do for you, Josh?" _

It was early. He walked past CJ's office. It was empty.

_ "I wanted to talk about your offer from the other day?" _

The Communications bullpen was silent. Two or three people were arriving and beginning to open up the place.

_ "I didn't expect your call so soon." _

Josh continued down the silent hallways.

_ "Something came up." _

He approached his own office.

_ "You're leaving the White House?" _

It was just as empty. No one was anywhere in sight, unusual for him.

_ "Looks that way." _

Leo's office drew nearer.

_ "How soon could you start?" _

Josh's dread grew greater, but so did his excitement.

_ "As soon as you need me." _

Margaret wasn't there yet. He knocked on Leo's door.

_ "That would be as soon as possible. I want to get this campaign going early as possible." _

"Come in!" Leo shouted. "Hey, Josh, you're here early," he said absently, flipping through some papers on his desk. "What is it?" he asked at the look on Josh's face.

_ "Care to have lunch tomorrow to discuss the details?" _

Josh reached slowly into his jacket pocket. He pulled out an envelope addressed to Leo. He handed it over slowly and quietly.

_ "Sure thing." _

"What's this?" Leo asked in confusion. Josh remained silent as Leo read the letter contained within.

_ "Congratulations, John Hoynes, you have a new campaign manager." _

s

A/N: WOO! The end! Sorry it took so long.

Okay, so you all want to kill me about now, am I right? Sorry!!!

A weird thing…I started writing this about a week ago...I'd already typed the part about Hoynes offering Josh the new job and just last night I saw the preview for next weeks West Wing with Jimmy Smits (I think?) asking Josh to run his campaign or something! It was so weird! I was thinking the same thing as the show sort of, but before I saw that part! I was like…dude! That's my idea!

Anyway…maybe there'll be a sequel? Do you want one? Or are you just going to boycott anything else I write? Or do any of you actually like the ending? I do (obviously, I wrote it)…it leaves things unanswered, but it's dramatic and sad and you get to ponder.

Well, tell me what you think!!!

Cheers!

Lexi Lyman


End file.
